The bar chart shows the scores of teams A, B and C over four different seasons.

The bar chart shows the scores of teams A, B and C over four different seasons.
The bar chart shows the scores of three
teams
, A,
B
and
C
, in four consecutive seasons. It is evident from the chart
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
team
B
scored far higher than the other two
teams
over the seasons, though their score decreased as a whole over the period. In 2002, the score of
team
B
far exceeded that of the other two
teams
, standing at 82
points
compared to only 10 for
team
C
and a very low 5 for
team
A. Over the next two years, the
points
for
team
B
decreased quite considerably, dropping by around half to 43 by 2004, but they still remained above the
points
for the other
teams
.
However
, though
team
Fix the agreement mistake
teams
show examples
A and
C
's
points
were lower, they were rising.
Team
A’s
points
had increased by 600% from 2002 to reach 35
points
by 2004, nearly equal to
team
Correct your spelling
Team
show examples
B
.
Team
C
, meanwhile, had managed only a small increase over
this
time. In the final year,
team
B
remained ahead of the others as their
points
increased again to 55,
while
team
Fix the agreement mistake
teams
show examples
A and
C
saw their point scores reverse and drop to 8 and 5 respectively.
Submitted by odod_aja on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words teams, b, c, team, points with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: