It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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It has been argued that the importance of taking risks can be beneficial to the career and the personal aspects. In my opinion, I agree with the statement that there are more bright sides than drawbacks it has. I will demonstrate my notions in detail in the following paragraphs. Taking an adventure in one's professional life and one's personal life provides multiple advantages for the whole civilization. From decades ago to the contemporary world, many scientists
gave
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have

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up their original stable
job
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jobs

It seems that job may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, and
have
Wrong verb form
had

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no leisure time for several years, in order to
invite
Verb problem
obtain

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a cutting-edge advanced product or find the solution to a mysterious problem. These surprising contributions are still seen as the greatest innovation nowadays.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Elon Musk quit college, and put all his efforts, including his treasures and properties, into the innovation of renewable energy, the electric car.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

advanced technology has helped him to
be
Verb problem
become

There may be a verb use issue here.

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one of the richest men in the world.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if people keep staying in their comfort zone,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

their lives will be stable,
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they will not have any chance to gain additional improvements for their life and career. More specifically,
has
Wrong verb form
had

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb has. Consider changing it.

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it not been for giving up something we treasured, we would not be able to see the prettiest paradise beyond our limit.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, each of the spectacular views, which only can be seen at the peak of a mountain, requires an adventurer to take the risk of dying during the climbing procedure. In conclusion, taking risks perhaps is not a comfortable option for some people, but I believe there are more advantages than drawbacks.

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Proofread your essay for grammatical errors and sentence structure.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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