It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risk #lives #risks

It has been argued that the importance of taking risks can be beneficial to the career and the personal aspects. In my opinion, I agree with the statement that there are more bright sides than drawbacks it has. I will demonstrate my notions in detail in the following paragraphs. Taking an adventure in one's professional life and one's personal life provides multiple advantages for the whole civilization. From decades ago to the contemporary world, many scientists

gave

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have

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up their original stable

job

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jobs

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, and

have

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had

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no leisure time for several years, in order to

invite

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obtain

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a cutting-edge advanced product or find the solution to a mysterious problem. These surprising contributions are still seen as the greatest innovation nowadays.

For example

, Elon Musk quit college, and put all his efforts, including his treasures and properties, into the innovation of renewable energy, the electric car.

This

advanced technology has helped him to

Verb problem

become

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one of the richest men in the world.

On the other hand

, if people keep staying in their comfort zone,

although

their lives will be stable,

however

, they will not have any chance to gain additional improvements for their life and career. More specifically,

has

Wrong verb form

had

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it not been for giving up something we treasured, we would not be able to see the prettiest paradise beyond our limit.

For instance

, each of the spectacular views, which only can be seen at the peak of a mountain, requires an adventurer to take the risk of dying during the climbing procedure. In conclusion, taking risks perhaps is not a comfortable option for some people, but I believe there are more advantages than drawbacks.

Submitted by chenoocn on Fri Jun 09 2023

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coherence cohesion

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lexical resource

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lexical resource

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grammatical range accuracy

Proofread your essay for grammatical errors and sentence structure.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

These days people spend more than more time at work and less time at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people think that they can make as much noise as they want, while others think that the amount of noise people make should be strictly controlled. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Other say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Disucss both these view and give your own opinions.

Some people think residents should keep their streets clean and tidy while others sy it is government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give yto our opinion.

‘’Prevention is better than cure.’’ Researching and treating diseases is too costly , so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. Do you agree or disagree with the given statement ?