It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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It has been argued that the importance of taking risks can be beneficial to the career and the personal aspects. In my opinion, I agree with the statement that there are more bright sides than drawbacks it has. I will demonstrate my notions in detail in the following paragraphs. Taking an adventure in one's professional life and one's personal life provides multiple advantages for the whole civilization. From decades ago to the contemporary world, many scientists

gave

Correct your spelling

have

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up their original stable

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

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, and

have

Wrong verb form

had

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no leisure time for several years, in order to

invite

Verb problem

obtain

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a cutting-edge advanced product or find the solution to a mysterious problem. These surprising contributions are still seen as the greatest innovation nowadays.

For example

Linking Words

, Elon Musk quit college, and put all his efforts, including his treasures and properties, into the innovation of renewable energy, the electric car.

This

Linking Words

advanced technology has helped him to

Verb problem

become

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one of the richest men in the world.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, if people keep staying in their comfort zone,

although

Linking Words

their lives will be stable,

however

Linking Words

, they will not have any chance to gain additional improvements for their life and career. More specifically,

has

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

it not been for giving up something we treasured, we would not be able to see the prettiest paradise beyond our limit.

For instance

Linking Words

, each of the spectacular views, which only can be seen at the peak of a mountain, requires an adventurer to take the risk of dying during the climbing procedure. In conclusion, taking risks perhaps is not a comfortable option for some people, but I believe there are more advantages than drawbacks.

Submitted by chenoocn on Fri Jun 09 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction clearly presents your thesis statement and the direction of your essay.

lexical resource

Provide more specific examples to support your points.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.

grammatical range accuracy

Proofread your essay for grammatical errors and sentence structure.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while other believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give your opinion

Some people think technology is now an invaluable study tool for young people. Others, however, believe that it is harmful to the studying process. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

"writing_prompt":"Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?",

. In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?