The pie chart below shows the frequency of U.S. Adults’ online purchasing habits in 2015, while the bar chart shows a further classification denoting online purchasing preferences.

#frequency #adults’ #habits #bar #classification #preferences

The

given

Verb problem

apply

show examples

pie chart depicts the proportion of

teenagers

Change noun form

teenagers'

show examples

spending habits in online shopping in the United States of America in 2015, but the bar chart displays the proportion of detail division regarding online buying preferences.

Overall

, the majority of juveniles less often buy goods online in the USA ,

while

the rest usually access online shopping a few times a month even never.

In addition

, there are the least groups using online shopping only at the weekend,

while

there was a high percentage of less frequent online

shoppers

buying directly in-store and the least was buying online. Looking into detail,

it is clear that

there was a high portion of teenagers who less often bought goods online, accounting for 37 %, followed by some who accessed online platforms a few times a month (28%) and who never purchased things online (20%) respectively.

Furthermore

, only the least who weekly use online shopping stated 15 %.

Moreover

, there was 80 % of

people

who buy directly in shops less frequently use online shopping.

In addition

people

always using online shopping contributed approximately 63 %, followed by

people

purchasing online monthly at around 59 % and

people

as weekly

shoppers

were the least only contributing 33 %.

While

62 % of juveniles as weekly

shoppers

tend to buy online , followed by monthly

people

(42%) and all online

shoppers

(33%) respectively. The least frequent online

shoppers

only donate just 19 % of the total.

Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on Fri Jun 09 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition, while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words shoppers, people with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

242 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie chart below shows the frequency of U.S. Adults’ online purchasing habits in 2015, while the bar chart shows a further classification denoting online purchasing preferences.

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion. You should write at least 250 words.

Some people think that good health is very important to every person, so medical services should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In major cities around the world, traffic congestion has become a serious problem. How can this problem be tackled? Give reasons and examples from your own experience.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.