The pie chart below shows the frequency of U.S. Adults’ online purchasing habits in 2015, while the bar chart shows a further classification denoting online purchasing preferences.

#frequency #adults’ #habits #bar #classification #preferences

The

given

Verb problem

apply

show examples

pie chart depicts the proportion of

teenagers

Change noun form

teenagers'

show examples

spending habits in online shopping in the United States of America in 2015, but the bar chart displays the proportion of detail division regarding online buying preferences.

Overall

, the majority of juveniles less often buy goods online in the USA ,

while

the rest usually access online shopping a few times a month even never.

In addition

, there are the least groups using online shopping only at the weekend,

while

there was a high percentage of less frequent online

shoppers

buying directly in-store and the least was buying online. Looking into detail,

it is clear that

there was a high portion of teenagers who less often bought goods online, accounting for 37 %, followed by some who accessed online platforms a few times a month (28%) and who never purchased things online (20%) respectively.

Furthermore

, only the least who weekly use online shopping stated 15 %.

Moreover

, there was 80 % of

people

who buy directly in shops less frequently use online shopping.

In addition

people

always using online shopping contributed approximately 63 %, followed by

people

purchasing online monthly at around 59 % and

people

as weekly

shoppers

were the least only contributing 33 %.

While

62 % of juveniles as weekly

shoppers

tend to buy online , followed by monthly

people

(42%) and all online

shoppers

(33%) respectively. The least frequent online

shoppers

only donate just 19 % of the total.

Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on Fri Jun 09 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition, while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words shoppers, people with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

242 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie chart below shows the frequency of U.S. Adults’ online purchasing habits in 2015, while the bar chart shows a further classification denoting online purchasing preferences.

the internet will bring about a new freedom of information and so narrow the technology gap between developed and developing countries. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. what problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?