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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think city planners should create more green space and plant trees. Others believe that they should focus on building new houses. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #city #planners #space #plant #trees #focus #houses
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In modern urban areas, the debate between allocating land for green
spaces
 and planting
trees
 versus constructing new houses has become increasingly prominent.
While
 some argue that
city
 planners should prioritize environmental sustainability, others believe that the demand for housing should take precedence. Both viewpoints have their merits, and
this
 essay will explore them before offering my own opinion. On one hand, supporters of creating more green
spaces
 and planting
trees
 emphasize the environmental and health benefits. Urban greenery plays a crucial role in reducing air pollution, providing habitats for wildlife, and mitigating the heat island effect in
cities
.
Trees
 and parks
also
 offer psychological advantages by providing residents with places for relaxation and recreation, improving
overall
 well-being.
In addition
, green
spaces
 can promote biodiversity, which is vital in maintaining ecological balance. For these reasons, many people believe that urban planning should focus on integrating more greenery into
cities
.
On the other hand
, there is a growing demand for housing
due to
 population growth and urbanization. Advocates for focusing on building new houses argue that
cities
 need to accommodate more people, and
this
 requires additional housing units. With limited space in densely populated areas, the construction of new homes is essential to ensure that everyone has access to affordable living
spaces
. In
this
 view, green
spaces
 and
trees
 may seem less important when the immediate need is to provide shelter for a growing population.
Therefore
,
city
 planners should focus on meeting the housing demands before prioritizing environmental considerations. In conclusion, both perspectives have valid points.
However
, in my opinion,
city
 planners should strive to find a balance between green
spaces
 and new housing. Urban development should not come at the cost of the environment, as both aspects are vital for the long-term well-being of the
city
 and its residents. By integrating more green
spaces
 into urban planning,
cities
 can enhance the quality of life
while
 accommodating the growing demand for housing.
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task achievement
Consider incorporating more specific examples or case studies to further illustrate the benefits of green spaces or the necessity for housing. This will enhance the demonstration of your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain a strong flow throughout the essay. Your current transitions are effective, but continued practice in creating even more nuanced links will strengthen your writing.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, thoughtfully weighing the benefits and drawbacks of each.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets up the debate and the conclusion neatly synthesizes the discussed points while also presenting a personal opinion.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph is well-structured, with a clear topic sentence that sets the direction, followed by relevant supporting points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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