Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child’s education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

It is argued that
while
some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents prefer
academics
for their
children
during
school
time to other
subjects
, I agree with other people
think
Correct pronoun usage
who think
show examples
that
PE
is
essential
Add an article
an essential
show examples
subject for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
since it helps
children
to improve their knowledge. In
this
essay, I will discuss why physical education is
also
primary
Add an article
a primary
show examples
lesson
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
academics
for
pupils
at
school
and provide relevant examples from my knowledge.
To begin
with, Nowadays
children
are taught different
subjects
in order to learn at schools. They
study
six days a week every day.
In other
words
Add a comma
,words
show examples
they spend more
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
time
to
Change the verb form
studying
show examples
study
.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
they are given homework so as to do
at
Correct pronoun usage
it at
show examples
home. In fact, academic
lessons
are educated more times than
PE
ones.
For example
,
pupils
study
academic
subjects
such
as mathematics, physics, chemistry and others
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
four or five times a week.
However
physical
lessons
are taught a few hours a week.
Therefore
children
are bored with
academics
.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
they are not interested in doing their
lessons
. Another reason is that if
pupils
study
only
academics
at
school
these
lessons
drive them stress and nervous. Even though they can impact their health.
For instance
, some of the private schools teach
academics
to
pupils
.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
them bored and lazy. After
then
principles at private schools decided to add physical
lessons
due to
the fact that they help
pupils
' knowledge to improve. Indeed, it worked well.
Children
began to be interested in doing their academic
lessons
at
school
and home. In conclusion, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people think that
PE
is
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
important lesson than
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
others claim that
academics
are more important than
PE
. I side with
PE
is
also
essential
Correct article usage
an essential
show examples
subject for
children
. It helps
children
to improve their other
subjects
at
school
.
Submitted by dilshod333d on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: