IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people belive that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious social problems. what are these problems and how could they be reduced ?

#people #belive #levels #violence #films
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Some people argue that the amount of
violence
Use synonyms
 in films
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 leading
several
Change preposition
to several
show examples
 issues in modern society. The following essay will discuss two main problems caused by the appointed phenomenon including
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
 number of robbery incidents and
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
show examples
 of killing rates,
also
Linking Words
, the actions might be taken in
regulation
Correct article usage
the regulation
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 of
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
 industry in order to reduce them. One of the first problems that need to be considered is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 growing number of stealing acts. The reason for
this
Linking Words
 trend is detailed scenes of robbing in films.
For example
Linking Words
, the film “Red
level
Correct your spelling
Level
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” shows
exact
Add an article
the exact
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 algorithm of attacking a bank beginning with the creating
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
team and ending up with the techniques of opening the bank safes.
Moreover
Linking Words
, episodes of killing affect negatively
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children’s psychology,
as a result
Linking Words
, it will build a generation with a tolerance to
violence
Use synonyms
, which will find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cruelty in society as
normal
Add an article
a normal
show examples
 thing. Moving on to the solution aspect, one thing to do, which
prevent
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
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 the community from mentioned consequences is to form an authorized committee which
regulate
Correct subject-verb agreement
regulates
show examples
 the industry of filming by banning and censoring blood scenes.
The next step is
Linking Words
 raising the bar
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
age limit to certain existing movie products in cinemas and TV broadcasts.
For instance
Linking Words
,
currently
Add a comma
,currently
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 films with high
violence
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 allowed to watch from 16; adding 2 more years to
this
Linking Words
 age limit may give
substantial
Correct article usage
a substantial
show examples
 effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the struggle with problems.
To sum up
Linking Words
, many people believe that the amount of
violence
Use synonyms
 in movies
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 thriving the offence in
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
. To reduce the amount of accidents the actions should be taken along several fronts: through censorship and changing the existing rules about age limit.
Submitted by 200317023 on

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