IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many people belive that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious social problems. what are these problems and how could they be reduced ?

#people #belive #levels #violence #films
Some people argue that the amount of
violence
 in films
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 leading
several
Change preposition
to several
show examples
 issues in modern society. The following essay will discuss two main problems caused by the appointed phenomenon including
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
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 number of robbery incidents and
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
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 of killing rates,
also
, the actions might be taken in
regulation
Correct article usage
the regulation
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 of
film
Correct article usage
the film
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 industry in order to reduce them. One of the first problems that need to be considered is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 growing number of stealing acts. The reason for
this
 trend is detailed scenes of robbing in films.
For example
, the film “Red
level
Correct your spelling
Level
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” shows
exact
Add an article
the exact
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 algorithm of attacking a bank beginning with the creating
a
Change preposition
of a
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team and ending up with the techniques of opening the bank safes.
Moreover
, episodes of killing affect negatively
to
Change preposition
apply
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children’s psychology,
as a result
, it will build a generation with a tolerance to
violence
, which will find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cruelty in society as
normal
Add an article
a normal
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 thing. Moving on to the solution aspect, one thing to do, which
prevent
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
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 the community from mentioned consequences is to form an authorized committee which
regulate
Correct subject-verb agreement
regulates
show examples
 the industry of filming by banning and censoring blood scenes.
The next step is
 raising the bar
of
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apply
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age limit to certain existing movie products in cinemas and TV broadcasts.
For instance
,
currently
Add a comma
,currently
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 films with high
violence
is
Change the verb form
are
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 allowed to watch from 16; adding 2 more years to
this
 age limit may give
substantial
Correct article usage
a substantial
show examples
 effect
in
Change preposition
on
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 the struggle with problems.
To sum up
, many people believe that the amount of
violence
 in movies
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 thriving the offence in
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
. To reduce the amount of accidents the actions should be taken along several fronts: through censorship and changing the existing rules about age limit.
Submitted by 200317023 on

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