IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Society is based on rules and laws. If individuals were free to do whatever they want to do, it could not function. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?

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Nowadays
people
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 must obey the
rules
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 and
laws
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 of the country they are living or visiting.
Whereas
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, some individuals find it difficult and inane to follow them. In my essay, I support the idea of following the
rules
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 and
laws
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.
To begin
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 with,
people
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 feel safe knowing that they are under the guard of the government, whose
laws
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 save them from different kinds of frivolity from other individuals' side. The illegal punishment that someone can cause to others would be analysed in court.
For instance
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, if some man would make a scene in a public place by starting to injure someone, he would immediately caught by police officers,
then
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 talk about the incident and given a fair punishment
according to
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 his actions.
As a result
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, feeling the government's law strength in the faces of local police officers makes
people
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 rethink their thoughts before they act. The second possible reason why society is better at following the
rules
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 and
laws
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 is that the terrain, where
people
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 live and were born, remains clean, tidy and developed. As the city is not wiped out by its citizens, it means that it increases in its beauty and stands out in its social skills.
For example
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, imagine the mirrored situation, in Afghanistan
people
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 destroy their own motherland maintaining the civil war
instead
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 of modernizing it and making it suitable for a new generation.
Therefore
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, that territory which stays under terrorists' occupation will not bring the country to a successful and serene future. In conclusion,
rules
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 and
laws
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 must be followed by every individual to bring the nation to a successful, developed and serene future.
Otherwise
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, there will not be any future at all the since world will be destroyed.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction properly paraphrases the prompt and clearly presents your thesis statement. Maintain a logical flow throughout the essay and ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Work on developing your supporting arguments with more detailed and relevant examples. Additionally, ensure that each body paragraph relates clearly back to the thesis presented in your introduction.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • social order
  • harmonious
  • individual freedoms
  • societal norms
  • unrestricted freedom
  • crime rates
  • dysfunctional
  • fair distribution
  • human rights
  • justice system
  • accountability
  • enforcing laws
  • restrictive regulations
  • societal functionality
  • legal frameworks
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