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Band 5

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems do this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with situation?

#professionals #doctors #teachers #countries #work #situation
It is irrefutable that a growing group of professionals like physicians and pedagogues, are forsaking their moneyless states to toil in evolved countries.
This
 essay should analyse some causes
such
 as low income and the lack of possibilities and suggest some ways to ameliorate the situation like higher salary and strong chances. The lack of opportunities and low income are the major causes of individuals migrating to developed nations for a better life. Quality doctors and teachers at an alarming rate are seeking chances in developed countries. As they are disappointed with the working situation in their own country.
For example
,
According to
 a survey in the Times of Tashkent, 30 % of the doctors in Uzbekistan migrate to other nations because of the low pay scale and the shortage of chances offered by government authorities. There is no simple solution to
this
 situation. On the one hand, the government should increase their salary as if the administration offers high salaries to the doctors and teachers who are willing to work for their own country. Another option would be, that the ascendancy should take steps towards solving the shortage of possibilities.
To sum up
, the problem of the pay scale and lack of chance can be solved by providing high salaries and steps taken to solve the problem of shortage of chance nowadays in other countries.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

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task response
Your essay addresses the causes and solutions adequately, but the response is not fully developed. Work on providing more specific and detailed examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed. Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topics to be discussed, and your conclusion summarizes the main points and provides a final thought.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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