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Band 7.5

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

#people #video #games #fun #tool #effect
Nowadays, some
people
 think that playing
games
 can have a negative impact on
players
whereas
 others find
games
 entertaining or even educational.
While
 there are a number of benefits that
games
 bring us, I would argue that they are indeed detrimental in many aspects. On the one hand, there are several reasons why
people
 think that
video
games
 are beneficial. One of the reasons is that playing
games
 can help
people
 enhance interpersonal skills.
For instance
, there are many multiplayer
games
 that require
players
 to cooperate with each other to achieve goals so that
people
 can improve their communication
as well as
 teamwork skills. Another reason is that some
games
 are being widely used as a tool to support teachers. To be more specific, since most children prefer playing
games
 rather than studying, bringing
games
 into the lesson can attract their attention and make it more entertaining.
On the other hand
, I firmly hold the view that there are many undeniable drawbacks of
video
games
.
Firstly
, youngsters who play these digital
games
 are very easy to be addicted to them. When spending most of their time playing
games
, they would gradually lose interest in studying and might perform poorly at school.
In addition
,
players
 could be faced with a number of health problems related to vision owing to playing
video
games
. Particularly, the blue light from the computer screen is especially harmful to the eyes so staring too much at the screen can step by step make them short-sighted. In conclusion, despite several advantages that
video
games
 bring to
players
, it seems to me that they are far more outweighed by the potential problems.
Submitted by dminh on

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the question are fully addressed and a clear position is taken in the introduction
coherence and cohesion
Use a wide range of linking words and cohesive devices to help the reader follow the structure and ideas. Maintain a clear and coherent overall progression throughout the essay

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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