IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Fast food is becoming a part of people’s daily life everywhere, and this has had negative effects on people and societies. Do you agree with the statement?

#food #part #people’s #life #effects #people #societies
It is irrefutable that daily consumption of fast
food
 has a negative impact on all individuals and communities. I firmly agree with the above statement as it contributes to an awful and holistic development. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will explain the scenarios contributing to the above-given statement. There are many reasons why I believe that outside eateries bring no benefit to any individual.
Firstly
, it is not healthy to consume junk
food
 on a daily basis as it contains high
amount
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amounts
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 of MSG, which makes everyone to get addicted to more of these types of foods. Adding to it,
this
 will bring us contiguous diseases
such
 as
diabetics
Replace the word
diabetes
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, high blood pressure and cancer.
For instance
, in 2020, there was a study conducted by a group of science
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 at Thunderbird University. It was shown that 94% of their samples have the above-mentioned disease
due to
 unhealthy daily
routine
Fix the agreement mistake
routines
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.
Secondly
, it is undeniably true that most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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humans are suffering from obesity
due to
 poor gut health,
eating
Correct word choice
and eating
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 behaviour. The overweight is not only an issue with adults but children whose health is deteriorating
due to
 processed foods. In an article published by OXY magazine in 2021, it was highlighted that fast
food
 occupied the society with unhealthy eateries which
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 attracted
the
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apply
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young adults and as
consequence
Correct article usage
a consequence
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, they are all with
overly
Add an article
the overly
an overly
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 weighed
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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.
To sum up
, consuming insalubrious
food
 regularly will have a defective effect on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children, adults and
entire
Correct article usage
the entire
show examples
 community. In my opinion, it is reasonable to have
such
 dishes once
a
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in a
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while
 on a celebration occasion, but having it as a routine will cause immense damage to the health of every human being
Submitted by ash.fuji2018 on

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