IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Rich country often gives money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore developed country should give other types of help to the poorer countries rather than financial aid. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Develop nations frequently provides aid to the third-world union in the
form
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 of
money
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. In many ,cases wealth does not support the progress of these types of countries. So, it would be better to help them in other ways. I personally disagree with the financial support for the growth. Financial help often got wasted if it does not get used in a proper way by the government. For ,example during the war in Afghanistan, many societies contributed a huge amount of
money
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 for development, but even after the war conditions of the countrymen are unchanged. It
also
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 observed that
due to
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 mismanagement financial help can be used in the wrong way. The best example of
this
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 is terrorism. Terrorist groups always used that
money
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 which, is supposed to use for development.
Furthermore
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,
instead
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 of offering , the fund they can provide help in the
form
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 of education, medical etc. Just because of the poor condition of many countries in Africa ,
continent
Add an article
a continent
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 so many nations provide help in the
form
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 of food and shelter for their locals. In many ,ways easy
money
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 can misguide the manpower of any country. It makes a habit for them
instead
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 of doing any type of productive work they seeks help from other and if they do not get
such
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 help they will start blaming the government.
To conclude
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, helping in the
form
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 of
money
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 is not the only way for developing nations. Mismanagement of
money
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 by any higher authority can interrupt growth.
Money
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 help can even produce slow growth in some countries. Aids can be in any
form
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; it can be in the
form
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 of education, medicine, food, shelter etc.

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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