IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for the locals?

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In recent years, tourism has contributed to some harder
tourist
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 attractions
such
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 as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.
This
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 trend is beneficial for those areas exposing their unique attractions and boosting the level of
tourist
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development
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.
While
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 the drawbacks of damaging the natural
habitats
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 and leading to environmental
pollution
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.
This
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 essay will expound on both views and analyse these
further
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. On the one hand, the benefits of promoting some difficult destinations are unique and increase their revenue.
First,
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in Australia, coral reefs are popular these days, and not easy to experience if people do not work diving.
However
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, it can contribute to a huge amount of income per year as a large number of dead-heart divers have a strong desire for diving.
Second,
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due to
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 attracting a large number of tourists visiting the place, the revenue is more likely to expand the flux of income and tends to promote its popularity.
Hence
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,
this
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 can bring up the sole
tourist
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 attraction and boost the level of
tourist
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development
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.
On the other hand
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, most majority of the cons
development
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 is to deteriorate natural
habitats
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 and create environmental
pollution
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.
For instance
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, even though coral reefs can be exposed and increase the flux of earnings,
this
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 results in a huge amount of plastic garbage throw into the sea when those people travel.
This
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 tendency tends to create marine
pollution
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 and losses their marine
habitats
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 from some plastic waste.
Therefore
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,
this
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 leads to the locals facing environmental issues and is more likely to break down ecosystems
such
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 as food chains. In conclusion, based on the statements above, the pros of difficult destinations are bring up the sole
tourist
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 attraction and boost the level of
tourist
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development
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.
However
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, the cons of those places are deteriorated natural
habitats
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 and create environmental
pollution
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.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction sets up the question clearly for the reader and includes a direct response to the task. Your body paragraphs should be fully developed and progress logically with clear topic sentences. Your conclusion should summarise your arguments without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Organise your essay with clear paragraphs, including an introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central theme and all sentences should relate directly to it. Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately to assist with the flow of ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic benefits
  • Infrastructure development
  • Cultural exchange
  • Conservation efforts
  • Environmental protection
  • Environmental degradation
  • Wildlife habitats
  • Cultural disruption
  • Commercialization
  • Economic dependency
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