You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that local forces ought to have access to mobile phone calls and chats of citizens to save them. But I believe that the history of what we do with our gadgets should be private because a person has rights and the data of a government can be hacked.
Firstly
, no one should be able to see an individual's phone call records for private reasons, in order to protect freedom of speech.
In other words
, if a person tells another that their local council is bad and makes poor decisions, he can't be persecuted for that.
For instance
, there are social networks, like Telegram, whose goal is to defend their users' privacy from not only hackers but
also
governments.
Secondly
, generally, it is easy to steal vital information from forces. If a government has a huge amount of data about every resident, hackers will try and eventually manage to hack them.
Next,
they will use
this
data to break into banks' and social media accounts because usually users send a lot of information about their passwords into chats of families or friends. Admittedly, a government will be able to stop criminals or terrorists using
this
information but nowadays it is hard to distinguish between simple black humour and real plans. So, police may end up arresting many common citizens.
To conclude
,
while
governments might be able to capture more dangerous people, they will
also
break one of the basics of human rights and it is a big risk to be hacked.
Therefore
, local forces mustn't be able to see a person's call records and chats.
Submitted by leshchynser on

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coherence cohesion
Try to clearly introduce the topic in the opening paragraph and outline the main points you will address in the essay. This will help improve the logical flow and coherence of your argument.
task achievement
Some points related to task achievement are not fully developed or strongly defended. Adding more specific examples and elaborating on key ideas can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your paragraphs so that each one covers a single, clear point that relates back to your main argument or thesis. This will enhance cohesion.
task achievement
Consider adding more balanced arguments on both sides of the discussion before providing your opinion to fully address the task.
task achievement
Your essay clearly presents your opinion, which is a fundamental aspect of task achievement.
task achievement
You’ve used relevant examples, such as mentioning Telegram, suggesting an understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion convincingly wraps up the argument with a clear opinion, supporting the initial stance.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates awareness of privacy concerns and hackers, which is relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Surveillance
  • Civil liberties
  • Oversight
  • Intrusion
  • National security
  • Counterterrorism
  • Wiretapping
  • Data encryption
  • Privacy rights
  • Authorized access
  • Judicial oversight
  • Illegal monitoring
  • Telecommunication data
  • Personal communications
  • Unwarranted intrusion
  • Transparency
  • Accountability
  • Civilian oversight
What to do next:
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