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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table and the pie chart depict information about the number of people who visited the Ashdown Museum and the amount of their satisfaction before and after reconstruction.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of Ashdown Museum’s
visitors
Use synonyms
 has increased after refurbishment
as well as
Linking Words
 their satisfaction has climbed significantly.
Also
Linking Words
, the percentage of people who did not answer the survey remained the same before and after the
repairing
Replace the word
repair
show examples
 process. Before the refurbishment, 74,000 individuals had visited
this
Linking Words
 museum
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 only 15% and 30% of them were very satisfied and just satisfied respectively by visiting that place. The majority of tourists about 40% were dissatisfied and 10 per cent of them were very dissatisfied
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 visiting Ashdown Museum. 5% of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 did not answer the survey to inform questioners about their opinion and
this
Linking Words
 proportion
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 steady even after the reconstruction. After the refurbishment,
while
Linking Words
 the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 has increased, they have become more delighted by the changes. As we can see, the percentage of very satisfied and just satisfied
visitors
Use synonyms
 have increased to 35 and 40 respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the proportion of dissatisfied and very dissatisfied
visitors
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 declined to 15 and 5 per cent respectively.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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