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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#attention #prevalence #media
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In recent years, there has been a growing concern that social networking is contributing to shorter attention spans.
While
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 some argue that digital
media
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 platforms are to blame for
this
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 phenomenon. I completely agree with
this
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 notion and will be supporting my stand with pertinent arguments in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, social
media
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 plays a vital role in one’s life.
Firstly
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, digital
media
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 makes
people
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 want to browse it indefinitely, which depletes their focus
as well as
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 their mental capacity. To demonstrate, social platforms
such
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 as Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and
Tiktok
Correct your spelling
TikTok
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 are designed in a way that can provide a constant influx of information that suits their interest.
People
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 scroll the reels or videos mindlessly for long hours until they are tired or mentally overloaded.
Hence
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, they won’t be able to concentrate on doing anything else.
Apart from
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this
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, there are several reasons contributing to a shorter attention span. Nowadays,
people
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 of all age groups use social
media
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 constantly. They spend most of their time on posts, and short videos rather than doing physical activities.
Subsequently
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, individuals lose little joy and pleasure in their
life
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lives
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. They do not find happiness in anything. Multiple studies have found a strong link between social
media
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 and an increased risk for depression, anxiety, loneliness and suicidal thoughts.
As a result
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, some
people
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 argue that social
media
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 is harmful to brain development ,especially for the youth. In conclusion, I strongly support the view that social
media
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 makes attention spans shorter because it causes mental overload to users after long usage and attracts them with instant information which spoils their capacity to solve complicated data in the long run.
Submitted by simran31788 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction presents the writer's position clearly but lacks a proper hook to engage the reader. The conclusion could be more conclusive.
task achievement
The essay adequately addresses the task with relevant arguments and examples. However, there is room for improvement in presenting a more balanced perspective.
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