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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. what are the reasons for this? is this a positive or a negative development

#countries #people #fitness #trainer #sports #exercise #classes #development
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It is said that in some nations, individuals give less weightage to sports and
exercise
Use synonyms
 classes,
however
Linking Words
, humans prefer to hire a private coach. It has happened for various reasons
such
Linking Words
 as lack of time, and less knowledge. I believe hiring a
trainer
Use synonyms
 is a positive change, and I would like to describe it in detail in the upcoming paragraphs. The primary reason for taking one-on-one
exercise
Use synonyms
 classes is a hectic schedule. These days, everyone is working 9 to 5, and they do not have enough time to do sports
whereas
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, with personal training class, a person can easily go and attend that session within a timeframe.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, It saves time and a person can utilize it to do other things. The second important reason is most human beings are not properly familiar with gym equipment, so they need a skilled
trainer
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 to teach them personally. I Could say hiring a personal gym
trainer
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 is beneficial for one because it indulges motivation to stick with a fitness regime.
Moreover
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, a Professional
trainer
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 would provide the right knowledge about workouts and nutrition. It would be dangerous,
for instance
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, if a person
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
exercise
Use synonyms
 without any coaching tips. In Conclusion, from my perspective, it would be a great development in people's lives to hire personal fitness trainers because knowledge is more important before doing any
exercise
Use synonyms
. if individuals do it in the wrong way
as a result
Linking Words
 they could confront
life long
Correct your spelling
lifelong
show examples
 injuries.
Submitted by sidhu.avneet07 on

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task achievement
Ensure that all main points directly address the task. Some reasons for hiring personal trainers might have been less emphasized, such as personalized attention and faster results.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that the essay is logically structured with clear transitions between points to enhance coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response, addressing both the reasons for hiring personal trainers and discussing the positive aspects of this trend.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps provide a structured set of arguments.
task achievement
Good examples and reasoning are provided in support of the argument that hiring a personal trainer is beneficial.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized workout plans
  • tailored
  • efficient
  • awareness
  • physical health
  • motivation
  • guidance
  • convenience
  • flexibility
  • exclusivity
  • status symbol
  • inaccessible
  • community engagement
  • social interaction
  • health outcomes
  • personal achievement
  • health-conscious
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