Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful, but they are also likely to suffer from negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

All around the globe, office durations and working days are usually the same which eventually helps the nation to gain economic growth.
However
, the working schedule often leads to fewer social meetings mainly because of the work stress and less time to meet friends and family. Analysing that I completely agree with
this
notion.
Firstly
, the average working life is extremely long and tiring which gives no space for the employees to socialise . Certainly, the majority of the portion of weekdays is spent in the office, even if, it is 8 hours in most cases,
other
Correct article usage
The other
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part of the day is usually wasted on either commuting or preparing to work the next day. In Toronto, many workers drive for at least 180 minutes to go back and forth to their workplaces.
As a result
, they get exhausted
while
on the weekend, and other necessary house chores are performed.
Therefore
, the entire week is either busy doing office work or staying at home which disables the humans to go outside the cycle and meet others.
Secondly
, every job creates certain pressure to perform well,
likewise
, people find it
so
Rephrase
apply
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hard to overcome the burden.
Consequently
, they find leisure time as a great hour to unwind.
For example
, teachers of high schools usually complain about the stress
to check
Change preposition
of checking
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exam sheets on their period off
instead
of enjoying that moment with family. The working cycle is designed in a way that employees cannot break it and they have to keep taking the tension in order to make money.
Hence
, humans do not get any day to meet friends or party with others. In conclusion, the companies have made the schedules in a certain way which is just beneficial for them as it does not allow the workers to socialise.
Moreover
, it is mainly because of exhaustion and strain from the jobs that imbalances the work-life balance.
Submitted by ramanpreetkaursetia on

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task response
Task Response: The essay provides a partial response to the task. It acknowledges the connection between working hours and social consequences, but the discussion lacks depth and thorough analysis.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is mostly clear, but there are key areas where the development of ideas could be improved. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the link between ideas and supporting details could be stronger for better coherence and cohesion.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Average working time
  • Economically successful
  • Negative social consequences
  • Employee burnout
  • Competitive edge
  • Global markets
  • Consumer spending
  • Productivity
  • Work-life balance
  • Mental health issues
  • Community ties
  • Societal well-being
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