Obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in reach countries. Discuss ways to solve the problem . Provide specific reason and examples to support your answer.

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Nowadays, many developing countries are suffering from numerous health issues including
obesity
Use synonyms
disease. These issues
are originated
Wrong verb form
originate
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from
individuals
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' lifestyle and their daily habits.
Therefore
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,
this
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essay will elaborate more on the main causes of the problem and deliver some active solutions to mitigate its effects.
To begin
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with,
obesity
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has become a challenge that faces the developing countries as it leads to many hidden problems.
In other words
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,
Obesity
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leads to
further
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challenging and risky issues
such
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as cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, and more.
Therefore
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,
governments
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and
individuals
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should work collaboratively to mitigate and lighten
this
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dilemma.
For instance
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,
governments
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can force manufacturers and food industries to provide clear information about their products, making it easier for consumers to be aware of the ingredients that they are consuming.
Moreover
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,
governments
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can encourage the establishment of awareness campaigns and educational programs that will promote citizens' knowledge and encourage them to adopt
a healthy lifestyles
Correct the article-noun agreement
a healthy lifestyle
healthy lifestyles
show examples
.
Additionally
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, companies and gym centres can contribute to their society by offering affordable prices for citizens, especially kids and needy people, simulating the adaption of health habits.
Lastly
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,
individuals
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can
also
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assist in spreading awareness by educating themselves and their loved ones about the impact of
this
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issue and how to improve their lives and health.
Overall
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,
after
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this
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essay has manifested the mentioned points it is important to
reiterated
Change the verb
reiterate
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that
although
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obesity
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disease is a serious and risky dilemma that faces our society, the collaboration between
governments
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and
individuals
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plays a significant role in mitigating its effects.

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, ensure that all paragraphs are well-connected with smooth transitions. This will make your essay flow more naturally.
task achievement
You should aim to provide more specific and detailed examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your essay and make your points more convincing.
task achievement
Try to address the topic more comprehensively by discussing multiple aspects of the problem and its solutions. This would demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the essay, clearly stating that both the causes and solutions of obesity will be discussed.
introduction conclusion present
The essay concludes with a strong summary that reiterates the importance of government and individual collaboration in tackling obesity, making it clear to the reader why this collaboration matters.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced diet
  • lean proteins
  • whole grains
  • recreational facilities
  • community fitness programs
  • campaigns
  • marketing
  • high-calorie foods
  • sugary drinks
  • health education programs
  • nutritional counseling
  • medical interventions
  • food deserts
  • urban planning
  • pedestrian-friendly streets
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