Obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in reach countries. Discuss ways to solve the problem . Provide specific reason and examples to support your answer.
Nowadays, many developing countries are suffering from numerous health issues including
obesity
disease. These issues are originated
from Wrong verb form
originate
individuals
' lifestyle and their daily habits. Therefore
, this
essay will elaborate more on the main causes of the problem and deliver some active solutions to mitigate its effects.
To begin
with, obesity
has become a challenge that faces the developing countries as it leads to many
hidden problems. In other words
, Obesity
leads to further
challenging and risky issues such
as
cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, and more. Therefore
, governments
and individuals
should work collaboratively to mitigate and lighten this
dilemma. For instance
, governments
can force manufacturers and food industries to provide clear information about their products, making it easier for consumers to be aware of the ingredients that they are consuming.
Moreover
, governments
can encourage the establishment of awareness campaigns and educational programs that will promote citizens' knowledge and encourage them to adopt a healthy lifestyles
. Correct the article-noun agreement
a healthy lifestyle
healthy lifestyles
Additionally
, companies and gym centres can contribute to their society by offering affordable prices for citizens, especially kids and needy people, simulating the adaption of health habits. Lastly
, individuals
can also
assist in spreading awareness by educating themselves and their loved ones about the impact of this
issue and how to improve their lives and health.
Overall
, after
this
essay has manifested the mentioned points it is important to reiterated
that Change the verb
reiterate
although
obesity
disease is a serious and risky dilemma that faces our society, the collaboration between governments
and individuals
plays a significant role in mitigating its effects.Submitted by marammajid1999 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, ensure that all paragraphs are well-connected with smooth transitions. This will make your essay flow more naturally.
task achievement
You should aim to provide more specific and detailed examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your essay and make your points more convincing.
task achievement
Try to address the topic more comprehensively by discussing multiple aspects of the problem and its solutions. This would demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the essay, clearly stating that both the causes and solutions of obesity will be discussed.
introduction conclusion present
The essay concludes with a strong summary that reiterates the importance of government and individual collaboration in tackling obesity, making it clear to the reader why this collaboration matters.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.