Obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in reach countries. Discuss ways to solve the problem . Provide specific reason and examples to support your answer.

#obesity #countries #reason #support

Nowadays, many developing countries are suffering from numerous health issues including

obesity

disease. These issues

are originated

Wrong verb form

originate

show examples

from

individuals

' lifestyle and their daily habits.

Therefore

this

essay will elaborate more on the main causes of the problem and deliver some active solutions to mitigate its effects.

To begin

with,

obesity

has become a challenge that faces the developing countries as it leads to many hidden problems.

In other words

Obesity

leads to

further

challenging and risky issues

such

as cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, and more.

Therefore

governments

and

individuals

should work collaboratively to mitigate and lighten

this

dilemma.

For instance

governments

can force manufacturers and food industries to provide clear information about their products, making it easier for consumers to be aware of the ingredients that they are consuming.

Moreover

governments

can encourage the establishment of awareness campaigns and educational programs that will promote citizens' knowledge and encourage them to adopt

a healthy lifestyles

Correct the article-noun agreement

a healthy lifestyle

healthy lifestyles

show examples

Additionally

, companies and gym centres can contribute to their society by offering affordable prices for citizens, especially kids and needy people, simulating the adaption of health habits.

Lastly

individuals

can

also

assist in spreading awareness by educating themselves and their loved ones about the impact of

this

issue and how to improve their lives and health.

Overall

after

this

essay has manifested the mentioned points it is important to

reiterated

Change the verb

reiterate

show examples

that

although

obesity

disease is a serious and risky dilemma that faces our society, the collaboration between

governments

and

individuals

plays a significant role in mitigating its effects.

Submitted by marammajid1999 on Sun May 26 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve the logical structure, ensure that all paragraphs are well-connected with smooth transitions. This will make your essay flow more naturally.

task achievement

You should aim to provide more specific and detailed examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your essay and make your points more convincing.

task achievement

Try to address the topic more comprehensively by discussing multiple aspects of the problem and its solutions. This would demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction effectively sets the stage for the essay, clearly stating that both the causes and solutions of obesity will be discussed.

introduction conclusion present

The essay concludes with a strong summary that reiterates the importance of government and individual collaboration in tackling obesity, making it clear to the reader why this collaboration matters.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

balanced diet
lean proteins
whole grains
recreational facilities
community fitness programs
campaigns
marketing
high-calorie foods
sugary drinks
health education programs
nutritional counseling
medical interventions
food deserts
urban planning
pedestrian-friendly streets

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Obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in reach countries. Discuss ways to solve the problem . Provide specific reason and examples to support your answer.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems.

Nowadays, people try to balance between works and other part of lives. However, not many is able to achieve this. What problems does this cause ? Can you suggest some solutions to this issue ?

In many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first months after the birth of their babies. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?