IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will no longer be neccessary because people can see historical objects and works of art by uging computer

#people #museums #art #galleries #neccessary #objects #works #computer
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Nowadays, the internet is becoming increasingly convenient
therefore
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somepeople
Correct your spelling
some people
 believe that we can see historical
objects
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 and
works
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 of
art
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 online without going to physical
museums
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.
While
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 I accept
this
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 point of view, I
also
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 believe that there are still many reasons some
people
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 prefer to visit
museums
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 in person. On the one hand, it is true that
people
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 can see historical
objects
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 and
works
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 of
art
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 by using the computer. With the development of technology, many
museums
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 and
art
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gallaries
Correct your spelling
galleries
 all over the World have provided their collections available online through
virtual
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a virtual
show examples
tour
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tours
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, or online
exhibition
Fix the agreement mistake
exhibitions
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.
This
Linking Words
 allows
people
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 to explore work arts and historical materials comfortably. It is very convenient for
people
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 to see
historical
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history
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 in anywhere they want, as long as they have
internet
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an internet
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 connection.
One
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On
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 the other hand, I believe that there are some reasons why
people
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 like to see masterpieces,
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art work
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artwork
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 in
phisical
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physical
museums
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 rather than using technology to do so.
Firstly
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, seeing
museums
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 in person brings visitors unique experiences which cannot
compared
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be compared
compare
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 to replicated online.
This
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 is because physically seeing
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art
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artworks
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works
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 in
museum
Correct article usage
a museum
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 allow visitors to
appriciate
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appreciate
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art
Correct your spelling
artworks
show examples
works
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' texture, and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
details of the
objects
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 in a way
that is
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 often difficult to capture in digital images.
Secondly
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, Visiting a museum can be a social activity, allowing
people
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 to share their experiences and learn from each other. It can
also
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 be a way to connect with others who share similar interests. In conclusion,
while
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 the internet provides a convenient way to access information and images of historical
objects
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 and
works
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 of
art
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, visiting a museum in person can provide a richer and more meaningful experience.
Submitted by hugoductam on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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