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Band 4.5

Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will no longer be neccessary because people can see historical objects and works of art by uging computer

#people #museums #art #galleries #neccessary #objects #works #computer
Nowadays, the internet is becoming increasingly convenient
therefore
somepeople
Correct your spelling
some people
 believe that we can see historical
objects
 and
works
 of
art
 online without going to physical
museums
.
While
 I accept
this
 point of view, I
also
 believe that there are still many reasons some
people
 prefer to visit
museums
 in person. On the one hand, it is true that
people
 can see historical
objects
 and
works
 of
art
 by using the computer. With the development of technology, many
museums
 and
art
gallaries
Correct your spelling
galleries
 all over the World have provided their collections available online through
virtual
Add an article
a virtual
show examples
tour
Fix the agreement mistake
tours
show examples
, or online
exhibition
Fix the agreement mistake
exhibitions
show examples
.
This
 allows
people
 to explore work arts and historical materials comfortably. It is very convenient for
people
 to see
historical
Replace the word
history
show examples
 in anywhere they want, as long as they have
internet
Add an article
an internet
show examples
 connection.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the other hand, I believe that there are some reasons why
people
 like to see masterpieces,
art work
Correct your spelling
artwork
show examples
 in
phisical
Correct your spelling
physical
museums
 rather than using technology to do so.
Firstly
, seeing
museums
 in person brings visitors unique experiences which cannot
compared
Change the verb form
be compared
compare
show examples
 to replicated online.
This
 is because physically seeing
art
Correct your spelling
artworks
show examples
works
 in
museum
Correct article usage
a museum
show examples
 allow visitors to
appriciate
Correct your spelling
appreciate
art
Correct your spelling
artworks
show examples
works
' texture, and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
details of the
objects
 in a way
that is
 often difficult to capture in digital images.
Secondly
, Visiting a museum can be a social activity, allowing
people
 to share their experiences and learn from each other. It can
also
 be a way to connect with others who share similar interests. In conclusion,
while
 the internet provides a convenient way to access information and images of historical
objects
 and
works
 of
art
, visiting a museum in person can provide a richer and more meaningful experience.
Submitted by hugoductam on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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