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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
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Whether
parents
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 or
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 should be responsible for
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children
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’s good
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behaviours
Fix the agreement mistake
behaviour
show examples
 has been a heated topic across the world. Some hold the view that
parents
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 play a vital role in the upbringing of well-behaved young generations for society
while
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 others expect that
teachers
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 are supposed to take accountability for nurturing socially-accepted members. In
this
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 article, I will reason both views and present my own ideas. It is true that
children
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 can learn multiple things from schools, including socially-appropriate
behaviours
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 for the reason that
teachers
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 take the role of teaching and supervising students’ learning and development.
For instance
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,
teachers
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 usually redirect a child’s inappropriate behaviour once it’s identified.
In addition
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, a school is like a small society where
children
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 can learn to socialize with their peers and other seniors. In
such
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 an enriched social environment,
children
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 may be able to adopt qualities
such
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 as compassion, kindness and respect for others.
However
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, It is undeniable that upbringing is significant in
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children
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’s development as
parents
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 are usually
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children
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’s first
teachers
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. Practically every child stays with their family since they were born, which means they spend most of their time with their family members, especially their
parents
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.
Therefore
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, it is easy for their
parents
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 to post an impact on their behaviour formation as
children
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 tend to copy their
parents
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’ languages,
behaviours
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 and ways of living.
For example
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, a child who grows up in a family with good manners is more likely to be a polite person in the future
while
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 who was born in a family full of violence has a higher chance to be aggressive when he or she becomes a grown-up. In summary,
although
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 schools play an important role in shaping
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children
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’s social
behaviours
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, parental factors are the key to cultivating well-behaved citizens.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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