Some people think that ambition is essential for success. To what extent do you agree?

#people #ambition #success

Some argue that

one

's aspirations in life are important in order to be successful.

This

essay partially agrees with

this

statement. A person's

dream

can motivate him,

however

, I believe that it needs a lot of hard work in order to achieve it.

To begin

with,

one

's ambition can be a good motivation for people to succeed.

This

can help them focus and align their steps towards achieving their goals.

That is

to say, they will not suddenly give up despite the challenges that will come along the way.

For instance

, the

dream

of the person who built the first computer was to make all the information available in

one

machine. Despite the negative feedback he received from his colleagues, he stayed focused on his

dream

As a result

, humanity is now enjoying the greatest invention of all time.

Thus

one

aspiration can contribute to the success of an individual.

In addition

to that, hard work can lead to a successful life. A person needs to put in his time and effort in order to achieve his ambitions. It is not something that comes overnight. It needs consistent effort and most successful people have attested to

this

For example

, Michael Jordan's

dream

was to be part of the NBA.

However

, he was deemed to be not good enough to play for his high school varsity team.

This

became his motivation and he worked hard day and night.

As a result

, he is

one

of the greatest basketball players of all time up to

this

day.

Hence

this

proves that working hard is important to be successful In conclusion, ambition is essential for a successful life,

however

, I believe that it should be backed up with hard work.

Submitted by yoko.onerom on Tue Mar 12 2024

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task achievement

Expand on your ideas by providing more detailed examples and explanations. Your essay has a good structure, but delving deeper into your examples could make your arguments more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Try to link your paragraphs more effectively by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will improve the flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph clearly supports your thesis statement. Begin with a strong topic sentence that summarizes the paragraph's main idea.

task achievement

Consider concluding your essay with a more assertive and reflective statement. A stronger concluding paragraph could enhance your argument by summarizing the key points and expressing a final, compelling insight.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Include an introduction and conclusion

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Studies have shown that most criminals have low levels of education. Because of this many believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate prisoners so they can get a job after being released. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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