IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Parents should be held legally responsible for their children’s acts. What is your opinion? Support it with personal example.

#parents #children’s #acts #support
There is always an
arugument
Correct your spelling
argument
 regarding whether
parents
 are liable for
childrens
Correct your spelling
children's
children
 doings.
This
 essay
doesnot
Correct your spelling
does not
 support
this
 statement .
Children
 are accountable for their own doings and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 around them From giving birth
Change preposition
to
show examples
along with
 raising us
parents
 perform
exceptionally
Add an article
an exceptionally
show examples
 good
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. They teach us principles
along with
 what is good or what is bad and would stand by us in any situation . It
totatlly
Correct your spelling
totally
 depends on
children
Correct article usage
the children
show examples
 which path they are choosing to follow . If
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 path and
commiting
Correct your spelling
committed
 serious crimes it sole
rensponsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 of that individual and
parents
 cannot
punished
Change the verb form
punish
be punished
show examples
 legally for that even if they are minors.
For example
 in developed or developing countries if
children
 who
didnot
Correct your spelling
did not
 attain
legal
Correct article usage
the legal
show examples
 age
Correct your spelling
committed
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
crime
Correct article usage
a crime
show examples
 they were sent to
juvelline
Correct your spelling
juvenile
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 rather than
opunshing
Correct your spelling
punishing
pushing
parents
 The type of place and environment has
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 impact on
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 mindset .
Children
 more time in
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 at home and are more exposed to social media than
previou
Correct your spelling
previous
sgenerations
Correct your spelling
generations
generation
. There needs to be
continous
Correct your spelling
continuous
 monitoring of
parents
 about what content they watch and how their peers impact them.
Children
 get quickly adapted to
Correct article usage
the
show examples
place
Wrong verb form
places
show examples
 around them cannot differentiate the situation and will be in
wrong
Change the article
the wrong
show examples
perspection
Correct your spelling
perspective
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 ever they are doing is correct .
For example
 Many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
below poverty
Add a hyphen
below-poverty
show examples
 country
children
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do things like robbery from people or from running
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
.They think
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 for
surving
Correct your spelling
surviving
serving
 and sometimes
parents
 may or
maynot
Correct your spelling
may not
 know that . In conclusion
parents
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 legally responsible for
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 child's actions unless and until they are involved in doing
Submitted by deekshakode95 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: