Some people think that team sports prepare children for work life but others think individual sports are better. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

More and more individuals believe that group exercises prepare kids for job life and are considered be advantages than disadvantages . People think sports are better.In my opinion, I completely agree with the statement that I believe individual sports play a crucial role in supporting healthcare. First of all, physical and mental health are key to maintaining a strong and healthy body for children.Activities
such
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as jogging, swimming, and even brisk walking can significantly improve
overall
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health.It is recommended to aim for at least 30 minutes of exercise on most days of the week to strengthen muscles and enhance energy levels.A study published in New York concluded that 90 per cent of kids who followed the exercise their doctors recommended improved their lifestyle.
As a result
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, they felt energetic and creative in their job.
On the other hand
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, a nutritious diet fuels of body and keeps it energised.What
i
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I
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mean is that, including fruits, vegetables, lean protein in meals, reducing processed food and sugar intake
also
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have a positive impact on well-being.
Furthermore
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, prioritising sleep is vital for physical recovery and mental clarity.A consistent sleep schedule can improve concentration, mood , and
overall
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well-being .
For instance
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, my brother, who was obese, followed a healthy diet and improved his health.
Therefore
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, his life becomes better , and his cognitive function improves. In conclusion, having various views, despite the challenges of maintaining a healthy lifestyle for children, I believe wellness is not a destination but a way of life, and it starts with small, consistent steps.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to directly address both sides of the argument. You seem to focus mostly on individual sports without fully discussing team sports or their benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a main point that supports your overall argument, and it should flow logically from one to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas, like 'firstly', 'on the other hand', or 'in conclusion'. This will help the reader follow your arguments better.
Task Achievement
You provided good examples of how diet and exercise impact health, which helps support your ideas.
Task Achievement
Your writing shows a clear opinion about the importance of health in life, which is a strong point.
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