The given chart below illustrates the proportion of individuals of 4 kinds age groups who watched in movie theater in one national European between 2000 and 2011.

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The given chart below illustrates the proportion of individuals of 4 kinds age groups who watched in movie theater in one national European between 2000 and 2011.

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The given chart below illustrates the proportion of individuals of 4 kinds age groups who watched in

movie

Add an article

a movie

the movie

show examples

theater

Change the spelling

theatre

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in one national European between 2000 and 2011.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be seen that there was an uptrend in all four groups

during

Change preposition

over

show examples

years

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, there were more people

Change preposition

apply

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aged 15-24 is the highest

group

Use synonyms

in over 11

years

Use synonyms

. Regarding

Remove the preposition

apply

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group

Use synonyms

aged 15-24

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

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roughly 15% in the first year,

Use synonyms

group

Correct article usage

the group

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aged 35 and over a mere 2%. In the next few

years

Use synonyms

aged

Correct article usage

the aged

show examples

group

Use synonyms

15-24

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

rose dramatically to 35% in 2006 and

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

fluctuated noticeably before

stand

Wrong verb form

standing

show examples

at over 50% in the

last

Linking Words

year. Meanwhile, the

group

Use synonyms

35-over had slightly

increase

Change the verb form

increased

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to over 10% in over 11

years

Use synonyms

. In terms of people aged 7-14

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

10% came

ton

Correct your spelling

show examples

cinema in the first year, which was twice higher than the percentage of 25-35 viewers. During the given period, a similar pattern was witnessed in both groups

fluctuated

Wrong verb form

fluctuating

show examples

considerably and both stopped at 30% in 2011.

joyce.ta213Tue Jun 13 2023

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words years, group with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

169 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

proportion
individuals
age groups
watched in movie theater
national
European
between
2000
2011
describe
compare
attendance
changes
summarize
chart

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The given chart below illustrates the proportion of individuals of 4 kinds age groups who watched in movie theater in one national European between 2000 and 2011.

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Nowadays people are trying to have a successful career and happy family life at the same time. What problems could this create? How can people overcome them?

Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. others believe children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.