The given chart below illustrates the proportion of individuals of 4 kinds age groups who watched in movie theater in one national European between 2000 and 2011.

The given chart below illustrates the proportion of individuals of 4 kinds age groups who watched in

movie

Add an article

a movie

the movie

show examples

theater

Change the spelling

theatre

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in one national European between 2000 and 2011.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be seen that there was an uptrend in all four groups

during

Change preposition

over

show examples

years

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, there were more people

Change preposition

apply

show examples

aged 15-24 is the highest

group

Use synonyms

in over 11

years

Use synonyms

. Regarding

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

group

Use synonyms

aged 15-24

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

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roughly 15% in the first year,

Use synonyms

group

Correct article usage

the group

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aged 35 and over a mere 2%. In the next few

years

Use synonyms

aged

Correct article usage

the aged

show examples

group

Use synonyms

15-24

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

rose dramatically to 35% in 2006 and

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

fluctuated noticeably before

stand

Wrong verb form

standing

show examples

at over 50% in the

last

Linking Words

year. Meanwhile, the

group

Use synonyms

35-over had slightly

increase

Change the verb form

increased

show examples

to over 10% in over 11

years

Use synonyms

. In terms of people aged 7-14

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

10% came

ton

Correct your spelling

show examples

cinema in the first year, which was twice higher than the percentage of 25-35 viewers. During the given period, a similar pattern was witnessed in both groups

fluctuated

Wrong verb form

fluctuating

show examples

considerably and both stopped at 30% in 2011.

joyce.ta213

Jun 13, 2023

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words years, group with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.

▼

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

169 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

proportion
individuals
age groups
watched in movie theater
national
European
between
2000
2011
describe
compare
attendance
changes
summarize
chart

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The given chart below illustrates the proportion of individuals of 4 kinds age groups who watched in movie theater in one national European between 2000 and 2011.

Some people say History is one of the important school subjects. Other think that, in todays world subject like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

In the future, it seems it will be more difficult to live on the Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Large business have big budgets for marketing and promotic and as a result people garvitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?