The given chart below illustrates the proportion of individuals of 4 kinds age groups who watched in movie theater in one national European between 2000 and 2011.

#proportion #individuals #kinds #age #groups #movie #theater #european

The given chart below illustrates the proportion of individuals of 4 kinds age groups who watched in

movie

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a movie

the movie

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theater

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theatre

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in one national European between 2000 and 2011.

Overall

, it can be seen that there was an uptrend in all four groups

during

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over

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years

In addition

, there were more people

Change preposition

apply

show examples

aged 15-24 is the highest

group

in over 11

years

. Regarding

Remove the preposition

apply

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group

aged 15-24

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

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roughly 15% in the first year,

group

Correct article usage

the group

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aged 35 and over a mere 2%. In the next few

years

aged

Correct article usage

the aged

show examples

group

15-24

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

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rose dramatically to 35% in 2006 and

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

fluctuated noticeably before

stand

Wrong verb form

standing

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at over 50% in the

last

year. Meanwhile, the

group

35-over had slightly

increase

Change the verb form

increased

show examples

to over 10% in over 11

years

. In terms of people aged 7-14

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

10% came

ton

Correct your spelling

show examples

cinema in the first year, which was twice higher than the percentage of 25-35 viewers. During the given period, a similar pattern was witnessed in both groups

fluctuated

Wrong verb form

fluctuating

show examples

considerably and both stopped at 30% in 2011.

Submitted by joyce.ta213 on Tue Jun 13 2023

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, group with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

169 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

proportion
individuals
age groups
watched in movie theater
national
European
between
2000
2011
describe
compare
attendance
changes
summarize
chart

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The given chart below illustrates the proportion of individuals of 4 kinds age groups who watched in movie theater in one national European between 2000 and 2011.

Some people believe that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the environment, others maintain that the major profit is the development of world business. Discuss the both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should make efforts in reducing environenmental pollutions and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The restoration of old buildings in major cities around the world costs enormous amounts of money. This money would be better spent on providing new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The tables below give information about the world population and distribution in 1950 and 2000, with an estimate of the situation in 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.