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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the change in three different types of crime in Newport city center from 2003 to 2012

The chart below shows the change in three different types of crime in Newport city center from 2003 to 2012
#change #three #crime #newport #city #center
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The line graphs illustrate the differences
of
Change preposition
in
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crime
Use synonyms
 rates in Newport city
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 during the nine years.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
bulgrary
Correct your spelling
burglary
budgetary
 showed a decrease,
while
Linking Words
 the number of
robbery
Fix the agreement mistake
robberies
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 and car theft fluctuated between 2003 and 2012.
To begin
Linking Words
, the
bulgrary
Correct your spelling
burglary
 was the majority
crime
Use synonyms
 in 2003,
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
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 for just below 3500
incidents
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. It rose to reach a peak at around 3700
incidents
Use synonyms
 in 2004 and suddenly dropped to its low at just over 1000 in 2008.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it increased again in 2009 and remained stable during the next three years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the car theft and robbery trend experienced fluctuation over a period. The number of criminals who steal a car
were
Change the verb form
was
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 nearly 2700
incidents
Use synonyms
 in 2003, falling slightly until 2005 and having fluctuation for six years
although
Linking Words
 surpassing the
bulgrary
Correct your spelling
burglary
crime
Use synonyms
 since 2006. It reached the same number as in
beginning
Correct article usage
the beginning
show examples
 year and became the main
crime
Use synonyms
 in Newport city
center
Change the spelling
centre
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, robbery
crime
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 depicted
the
Correct article usage
an
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 oscillation during
this
Linking Words
 period when it started at 500
incidents
Use synonyms
 in 2003 and reached
at
Change preposition
apply
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just over 500 in the final year.
Submitted by dimasfajarairlangga on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words crime, incidents with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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