Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is true that we live in a world today where humans are well known for their appearances rather than their achievements and some argue that
will have a bad outcome on our kids.
essay totally agrees with
statement; I believe that they are setting a very bad example for the youth. First of all, teenagers are looking for a role model to follow their steps in real life, and
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looking up to influencers,
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can result in terrible consequences
due to
the fact that these celebrities don't actually preach about hard work but only glamour lifestyle;
, kids will be under the impression that
what success looks like,
as a result
, they'll try to imitate that rather than work.
, by seeing how they are dressed, youngsters will tend to copy them by buying expensive clothes that they are not able to afford;
, demanding extra cash from their parents that will be an extra burden on their shoulders.
for example
, a survey done in a shopping centre in London showed that most young individuals visit expensive stores more than others.
, with the rise of social media, anyone can practically become famous, even by doing the stupidest things ever, and these individuals will surely be a bad role model for our kids,
for instance
, in Tiktok, users can get well known by only dancing.
, children will no longer be motivated to continue their studies whether in school or afterwards in university after seeing by doing the minimum effort they can be famous and get paid through Apps and be able to travel across the world and eat every kind of food.
To conclude
, for the reasons mentioned above, I believe that celebrities are a bad example for our children.
Submitted by saberyouc on

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Task Response
In the introduction, make sure to clearly present your position and outline your main points. Additionally, consider rephrasing the thesis statement to avoid repetition.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay exhibits a clear logical structure and maintains a consistent flow of ideas. However, pay attention to linking words and phrases to improve coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • portrayed
  • overshadow
  • influenced
  • lifestyles
  • unrealistic
  • expectations
  • values
  • promoting
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • inspire
  • positive impact
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