The graph below shows the average monthly use of health club in Miami and Florida by all full-time members in 2017. The pie charts show the age profile of male and female members of this health club.

#health #club #miami #florida #members #show #age #profile

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The bar chart depicts the number of people by gender who had used

health

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clubs in Miami and Florida in 2017. The pie charts provide information about the percentage of male and female

health

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club members by age

group

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in the same

years

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Overall

Linking Words

, the general trends showed that male

users

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of fitness centres were always higher than females over the selected period. In terms of age

group

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, in both men dan women customers, the highest proportion of the members was aged

group

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21-35

years

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. Looking at the bar chart in more detail, in January 2017, the number of full-time members who used the

health

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clubs was just over 1000 people, of which the male

users

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were slightly more than females, at around 560 males.

This

Linking Words

number continued to increase and reached its peak in June, with almost 900 males and exactly 700 females using the facilities. In terms of the aged

group

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, the largest segment of males who had used the club was the aged

group

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of 21-45

years

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, which accounted for more than half of the total.

Similarly

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, among female

users

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, the

group

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aged 21-45

years

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old was the most common

health

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club

users

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, accounting for exactly half of the total.

Submitted by irarahmawati.polkesma on Wed Jun 14 2023

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words health, group, years, users with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

203 words

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The graph below shows the average monthly use of health club in Miami and Florida by all full-time members in 2017. The pie charts show the age profile of male and female members of this health club.

In the past, knowledge was contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy life at the same time . What problems can this situation cause? What can be done about this problem?

In some countries, students pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do the advantages of governments paying for fees outweigh the disadvantages?