Some people think that people are responsible for their happiness,while others feel that happiness depends on other factors in their life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There are two schools of thought when it comes to optimism. On one hand, some believe that people are fully responsible for their own exhilaration and that they can oversight their emotions and reactions to life's challenges.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, others argue that glee is influenced by external considerations

such

Linking Words

as relationships, financial stability or health. Those who believe in personal responsibility for euphoria argue that entities have the power to choose their attitudes and behaviours. They believe that party can create their own positive experiences through mindfulness, gratitude, and finding meaning in life.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, they assert that people should not rely on external things to determine their peace of mind because these elements are beyond an individual's discipline.

In contrast

Linking Words

, those who believe in external influence affecting contentment point out that people cannot always have authority over the circumstances of their lives. They argue that external forces

such

Linking Words

as social support networks and financial stability can greatly impact one's

overall

Linking Words

well-being.

Additionally

Linking Words

, they contend that human beings with mental health disorders cannot simply choose to be happy and may need medical intervention. In my opinion, both views have merit.

While

Linking Words

personal responsibility is important for cultivating a positive mindset, it is

also

Linking Words

crucial to recognize the role of external circumstances in shaping one's elation. It is important to acknowledge that some circumstances in life may be out of our regulation and may require assistance from others or professional help. Ultimately, I believe a balance between personal responsibility and recognizing external influences is necessary for achieving lasting bliss.

Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on Wed Jun 14 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Self-reliance
Positive psychology
Socioeconomic status
Well-being
Mindset
Personal choices
Environmental factors
Interpersonal relationships
Emotional resilience
Quality of life
Subjective well-being
External circumstances

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people think that living in a big cities is bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree
There is an ongoing statement suggesting that dwelling in metropolises is dramatically harmful for one’s physical health. From my point of view, I only partially consent with this idea since metropolises living conditions can indeed cause severe diseases but also can cure them with great efficiency as well.
5.5
band
you should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: A government’s role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure (roads, water supplies, etc.). All other services (education, health, social security) should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays one of the important government’s role is to protect their inhabitants and to defend their rights. In addition, their job is to defence their roads, water supplies, transportation, energy and other urban infrastructure. However, education, health, social security and other services are the face of country.
4
band
Some people think that the money used to preserve historic buildings and artefacts should came from goverment funds, while others believe that private organisations and individuals should pay for this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many historical buildings and artefacts has taken many years to discover and are originated from ancient civilization and colonization which tells the story of a country. Therefore, many argue that the government are responsible to preserve those buildings whereas others oppose this notion and says that private organisations and individuals should pay for this.
5.5
band
Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?
It is argued that many children suffer from diseases and this happens due to having vaccines. This is a debatable issue which has a counter of reasons that would be considered to solve this issue such as parents ought to decide whether they consume vaccines for common diseases or not, otherwise, they should make a law to impose such type of issue to protect their children. This essay will provide reasons and examples to support this issue in further detail.
<4
band
In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reason? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
The last time, many people used to travel foreign country to look for many differences from their country. However, cities on over the world are becoming more and more similar. The writer argues the main reason is global and to avoid burnout outweigh the drawback of laziness.

Some people think that people are responsible for their happiness,while others feel that happiness depends on other factors in their life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that living in a big cities is bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people think that the money used to preserve historic buildings and artefacts should came from goverment funds, while others believe that private organisations and individuals should pay for this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reason? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?