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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

the table below shows the average weekly salaries of men and women working in different occupations.

the table below shows the average weekly salaries of men and women working in different occupations.
#salaries #men #women #occupations
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The presented table compares the average
salaries
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 of
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 in five different
jobs
Use synonyms
 in 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, In the same occupation,
men
Use synonyms
 always earned more than
women
Use synonyms
 did.
Also
Linking Words
, the
salaries
Use synonyms
 in professional work were the highest
while
Linking Words
 that
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 manual labourers were the lowest among the five
jobs
Use synonyms
 in both genders. In 2015, the average weekly
salaries
Use synonyms
 for male technicians were about 1400, which was 500 higher than female technicians earned.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the same trend could be seen in administrative and service workers.
Men
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 working in these two
jobs
Use synonyms
 earned 1350 and 1300 per
week
Use synonyms
 respectively, which were both 350 higher than females did in the same positions. Meanwhile, professional
jobs
Use synonyms
 had the best
salaries
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 in these five
jobs
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, which were 2000 for
men
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 and 1900 for
women
Use synonyms
 every
week
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the manual position was provided with the latest wages both for
men
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 and
women
Use synonyms
, which
men
Use synonyms
 earned 1100 and female earned only 850 per
week
Use synonyms
,
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salaries, week, men, women, jobs with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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