Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
There are competing views on development plans for some
countries
. Many governments think that economic progress is an important goal for the future. Meanwhile, other governments think that many other aspects Use synonyms
such
as education, healthcare, and social safety are more important goals. I believe that economic success is important, but there are other appearances that have many capabilities and advantages for many populations.
On the one hand, economic establishment is important for performance in developing Linking Words
countries
. Without financial stability, the Use synonyms
countries
can not have good facilities for education, healthcare, and social safety. Use synonyms
For example
, Venezuela has inflation in their economy, which witnessed a downward spiral of problems Linking Words
such
as an increasing number of crimes, diseases, and hungry citizens.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, people who think that other aspects are the most important goal for nations with success in trade have ensured financial balance Linking Words
such
as Western Linking Words
countries
without damaging their economic establishment. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, economic progress alone does not guarantee the improvement of education, healthcare, environment, and social safety. The only focus on the economy will be on decreasing the other aspects. Linking Words
For instance
, South Korea has economic progress but there are many cyber crimes, one of which is called "Molka". Many women can not use the toilets because there are many cameras in the toilets. So, I believe that the government should prioritise social, peace, and environmental security for many citizens to achieve sustainable development.
In conclusion, economic success may be an important goal for a government but it should not get the highest priority as there are still many appearances of development which have many capabilities and advantages for many people.Linking Words
Submitted by dliyaa on
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vocabulary
Ensure that you maintain a consistent vocabulary throughout the essay. For instance, be clear about using terms such as 'aspects' and 'appearances'.
examples
Provide more specific examples to enhance the task achievement. Current examples are good, but adding a bit more detail or more examples would strengthen your argument.
clarity
Aim to make your arguments clearer by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central idea.
conclusion
Enhance your conclusions by summarizing the key points you discussed and explicitly linking them back to the question.
introduction
The introduction sets up the discussion nicely by presenting both perspectives.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates awareness of how economic and other types of progress impact real-world situations, enhancing relevance.
argument balance
Creating a balance between economic progress and other aspects reflects careful consideration of the prompt.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite