The diagram shows the process by which milk and related product are produced

The given diagram depicts the whole production process of

dairy

Use synonyms

goods.

Overall

Linking Words

, there is an 8-step process which starts with cows grazing and ends by displaying

dairy

Use synonyms

products at stores.

Firstly

Linking Words

, Cows needed to be fed properly, mostly by grass.

Secondly

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the productive nature of cows, they should be milked twice every day by milking machines. Afterwards,

milk

Use synonyms

will be shipped to the

dairy

Use synonyms

centre by tankers, because

this

Linking Words

step might be time-consuming before

milk

Use synonyms

goes bad it would be stored in special refrigerators prior to its shipment. In order that

milk

Use synonyms

becomes a usable product, it would be processed in the

dairy

Use synonyms

centre.

While

Linking Words

some of the

milk

Use synonyms

is pasteurized and bottled for consumer usage, the rest would be made into other

dairy

Use synonyms

products like cheese, cream, and butter.

Finally

Linking Words

, all be packaged and shipped to supermarkets and shops for consumers to use. To summarize, these few steps need to be taken in order to produce

dairy

Use synonyms

goods from raw

milk

Use synonyms

amirhossein1376

Jun 14, 2023

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words dairy, milk with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

164 words

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The diagram shows the process by which milk and related product are produced

In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are spending more and more of their time indoors. What are the causes and how it could be solved?

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. Which approach do you think has more advantages? Are there any disadvantages to children having a school uniform?

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try cooporate more rather that competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your opinion.