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Band 5.5

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
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It is undeniable that after
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduating
show examples
 from secondary school, many adolescents are advised to take a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 for working or travelling before beginning to study at university.
This
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 essay will elaborate on both advantages and disadvantages of taking a 1-
year
Use synonyms
gap
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.
To begin
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 with, one of the main advantages of taking a
gap
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year
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 is the opportunity to explore and gain work experience. For pupils who have just finished secondary school, working or travelling allows them to learn more skills and knowledge which can not be acquired through the educational system.
As a result
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, these experiences lead to the decision on their university major.
Furthermore
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,
due to
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 the social inequality in some nations, certain families may struggle to afford university fees.
Therefore
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, working can provide a solution by allowing students to earn money and assist their parents with the expenses. Despite these advantages, taking a
gap
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year
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 can
also
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 have drawbacks. These days job markets are very competitive,
therefore
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 those children who
taken
Add a missing verb
have taken
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 a
gap
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year
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 may miss out on valuable job opportunities with top companies during that
time
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.
Moreover
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, if some students do not utilize their
time
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 in a beneficial way,
such
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 as spending excessive
time
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 playing video games, or sleeping, they will totally
loss
Replace the word
lose
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 1-
year
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time
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 without acquiring any experiences or money. In conclusion, taking a break from studies can be an adventurous and beneficial choice if it allows children to learn, gain experiences, and accumulate
saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
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.
However
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, it is crucial for students to ensure that they spend 1
year
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Use synonyms
time
Change preposition
of time
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 beneficially.
This
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 will help them maximize the benefits of the
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 experience.
Submitted by Partofyourworld on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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