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In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
It is undeniable that after
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduating
show examples
 from secondary school, many adolescents are advised to take a
gap
year
 for working or travelling before beginning to study at university.
This
 essay will elaborate on both advantages and disadvantages of taking a 1-
year
gap
.
To begin
 with, one of the main advantages of taking a
gap
year
 is the opportunity to explore and gain work experience. For pupils who have just finished secondary school, working or travelling allows them to learn more skills and knowledge which can not be acquired through the educational system.
As a result
, these experiences lead to the decision on their university major.
Furthermore
,
due to
 the social inequality in some nations, certain families may struggle to afford university fees.
Therefore
, working can provide a solution by allowing students to earn money and assist their parents with the expenses. Despite these advantages, taking a
gap
year
 can
also
 have drawbacks. These days job markets are very competitive,
therefore
 those children who
taken
Add a missing verb
have taken
show examples
 a
gap
year
 may miss out on valuable job opportunities with top companies during that
time
.
Moreover
, if some students do not utilize their
time
 in a beneficial way,
such
 as spending excessive
time
 playing video games, or sleeping, they will totally
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 1-
year
time
 without acquiring any experiences or money. In conclusion, taking a break from studies can be an adventurous and beneficial choice if it allows children to learn, gain experiences, and accumulate
saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
show examples
.
However
, it is crucial for students to ensure that they spend 1
year
time
Change preposition
of time
show examples
 beneficially.
This
 will help them maximize the benefits of the
gap
year
 experience.
Submitted by Partofyourworld on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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