Nowadays, a lot of people enjoy watching sports on TV. Do you think the advantages of watching sports on TV outweigh the disadvantages?

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At present, a considerable number of individuals are interested in watching

sports

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. In my opinion, I consider that watching

sports

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can bring about more advantages for viewers compared to any problems it might bring. Despite the drawbacks below, I believe the benefits gained by viewers watching

sports

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are extremely useful.

Firstly

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, they can save time because they do not need to spend time travelling.

In other words

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, football fields in some places are far away, so it is better to watch matches on

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instead

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of travelling.

For example

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people

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in the Middle East have to travel for many hours to watch a match in Europe, so it is easier for them to watch on

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Secondly

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, it is cost-effective to watch

sports

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events on

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This

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is because they can watch

sports

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without buying tickets or spending money on travelling. Admittedly, there are some issues involved when

people

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watch

sports

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. One problem is that it can lead to addiction.

That is

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to say,

sports

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games are often interesting, and when

people

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have access to them from home, they will often watch them excessively, which can cause various issues, including problems in their relationships with family and disruptions to their sleeping patterns, especially if the matches are late at night. Another disadvantage is that when

people

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watch

sports

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, they may start developing unhealthy eating habits. Watching football,

for instance

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, is often accompanied by the consumption of fast food and soft drinks which are bad for health.

To sum up

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, saving time and money far outweighs any of the minor drawbacks that could result from

people

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watching

sports

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s_syedyWed Jun 14 2023

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task achievement

Consider adding a more detailed explanation of how the disadvantages may affect an individual's life. This will help in expanding your arguments and providing a clearer insight into the negative aspects of watching sports on TV.

coherence and cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link your ideas and paragraphs together. This could enhance the flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

task achievement

Provide specific examples or statistics to back up your claims about the advantages of watching sports on TV. For instance, citing studies or surveys that show viewer preferences can strengthen your arguments significantly.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion. This helps the reader understand your stance on the topic effectively.

task achievement

You've provided relevant examples to illustrate your points, such as the travel distances for viewers in the Middle East, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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