Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is considered that
women
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have an efficient method of raising offspring and for
this
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,reason it is believed that they should focus more on family life rather than developing their careers. I completely disagree that
women
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should spend more time and attention on raising kids. Nowadays there is a growing number of childfree
women
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who are interested in their job and some men can be better at caring about
children
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.
Firstly
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, living alone or not being married has become more popular these days. Some
women
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prefer enjoying living for themselves, which means living without
children
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.
In other words
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, they might not want to raise
children
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although
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they are married.
For instance
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, recent studies say that the number of born offspring is decreasing from year to year. So nowadays
women
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tend to focus on relaxing rather than having
children
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and looking after them.
In addition
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,
women
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can be a professional in their own work which motivates them to concentrate more on the job. Some of them want to develop their skills and make more money by reaching success. As an example, nowadays there are more
women
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who have leading professions than men who are successful in their work life.
Therefore
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, the main concentration on the job might be more useful than more attention to offspring.
Last
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but not least, some men might be good at parenting compared to
women
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. These days more and more males prefer doing household which includes caring about
children
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about kids.
Thus
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women
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do not need to give more attention to raising
children
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.
To sum up
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, today
women
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do not have to focus more on housing. They can create their career or enjoy their lives without
children
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. In my own opinion,
women
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should improve themselves by growing in careers
while
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the
children
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can be raised by their husbands or childminders.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • nurturing
  • empathy
  • sensitivity
  • maternal instinct
  • paternal involvement
  • child's development
  • work-life balance
  • gender equality
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