IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

There are many zoos around the world these days. What are the causes of it? Is this a positive or negative development?

There are many animal parks in many different countries at present. In my opinion, I believe that there are many wildlife conservation because the
government
Use synonyms
 wants to come up with interesting
places
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 for tourists to enjoy, and they want to improve the
economy
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, which certainly can be beneficial for the nation.
Firstly
Linking Words
, these days, there are many
places
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 to keep wild
animals
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 in many different countries because the authority wants to attract citizens and tourists who like
animals
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 and
also
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 they want to protect individuals from being attacked by wild
animals
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.
For example
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, a
lot
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 of
people
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 go to the forest to see the
animals
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, and some
people
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 have problems with dangerous
animals
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, so the
government
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 make many safe
places
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 for
animals
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 to stop
people
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 to go to the jungle and protect themselves.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
government
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 at present make many
zoos
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 in many different
places
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 because a
lot
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 of
people
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 enjoy and have an interest when they see the
animals
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, so the
government
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 make it for them and
also
Linking Words
 to get money.
For instance
Linking Words
, when
people
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 want to go to the
zoos
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, they should pay at the counter to let them go inside the
zoos
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,
as a result
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, the
government
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 can improve the
economy
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 by citizens and tourists.
Finally
Linking Words
, when the
government
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 make many
zoos
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 in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different city, it is amazing since a
lot
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 of individuals like the
animals
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, so when the
government
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 build
zoos
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. it is wonderful for the
people
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 and the
government
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 as they get a
lot
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 of money, and they can improve the
economy
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.
This
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also
Linking Words
 can protect the
animals
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 from extinction, and
People
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 can know a
lot
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 about
animals
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 in the wild.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I believe that having
zoos
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 is good to protect
people
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 and the
government
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 can improve the
economy
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. If the countries do not have
zoos
Use synonyms
, it will be bad for the progress of the country.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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