Television Sport shows such as the Olympics are a good source of motivation for our youths who do not like to exercise much. Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued sport programs on television can be a motivation for youths to exercise more. After my careful consideration, I personally disagree with that statement because of the lower rate of
people
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watching TV, and the trend has changed.
Also
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, it relies on the environment and the surrounding
people
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. The number of individuals watching TV has been declined, as it requires some space for installation comparing to mobile devices, e.g. smart phone or tablet, it is convenient, and it easily reaches out to the online contents,
as a result
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, the motivation might be come from the trend on social media,
for example
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, recently, there are so many reels related to how fun playing golf is;
this
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can influence the content consumers to try it. Another example can be Hyrox, where everyone would like to join, as it is very trendy.
Moreover
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, the motivation of workout can come from the surrouding society, which means if they are surrounded by a group of
people
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or friends sharing the same interest, it is easy for them to naturally absorb that interest because the group will usually talk or share things about it,
for instance
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the place where they normally train, the style of training, the shoes they wear, etc.
However
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, some
people
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may find the sports programs on TV are a good inspiration to do more exercise cause the narrators usually admire or praise the athletes' performances or figures, so
,
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apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
can motivate watchers to be like those athletes. In conclusion, the youths can easily get influenced or motivated by the online trends
due to
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the increase in mobile device usage.
Also
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, their friends can play a major role, as they can easily share the interest
,
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apply
show examples
and convince each other.

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task response
Make your main view more direct in the first part. Say clearly that you do not agree, and keep this same line all through the essay.
task response
Add one more clear reason why TV sport shows do not push most young people to exercise. This will make your answer feel more full.
task response
Your examples are real and modern, but explain them more. Show exactly how social media leads to exercise, not only that it is popular.
coherence cohesion
Put one clear topic sentence at the start of each body part. This helps the reader know your main point at once.
coherence cohesion
Some links are weak or too long. Break long sentences into two shorter ones and use simple linking words like 'First', 'Also', 'However', and 'As a result'.
coherence cohesion
Make the last body part fit your main view more closely. If you give the other side, make it shorter and then show why your view is still stronger.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear side: you mostly disagree.
task response
You use examples like golf, Hyrox, and friends. This helps support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end.
coherence cohesion
You use linking words such as 'Moreover', 'However', and 'In conclusion'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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