many students take part time jobs while studying in university, you think it's a good idea or bad idea

#students #part #time #jobs #university #idea

Having a

sidejob

Correct your spelling

side job

side-job

while

being a college student is in my opinion a very good idea. One of the values

this

can bring you apart from money is an expanded social circle, which is very valuable during college years. A

partime

Correct your spelling

part-time

job during

univeristy

Correct your spelling

university

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

can help

students

out financially since being a student brings a lot of costs, and not all

students

student's

Fix the agreement mistake

students'

show examples

families are able to afford

this

For instance

there are

students

who move from

third world

Add a hyphen

third-world

show examples

countries to more wealthy countries, in those cases it can be very hard to pay for everything and readjust the budget.

Furthermore

Add a comma

,Furthermore

show examples

while

you work you have the

change

Correct your spelling

chance

show examples

to meet new people and

enage

Correct your spelling

engage

in new activities.

For

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

international

students

, usually

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

know people in the place

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

go to study, and during

univeristy

Correct your spelling

university

it can be quite hard to make friends, so

this

is a great opportunity for them to engage with new people. In

conclusion

Add a comma

,conclusion

show examples

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

having a

partime

Correct your spelling

part-time

job during university is a great idea. It brings a lot of value to the

students

in many aspects,

inlcluding

Correct your spelling

including

financial aid,

Correct word choice

and a

show examples

more expanded social circle, among others.

Submitted by maat2074 on Thu Jun 15 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

193 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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many students take part time jobs while studying in university, you think it's a good idea or bad idea

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people believe today that everyone has a right to access to the Internet and that governments should provide this access for free. Other believe that access to the Internet is not a right and should be paid for like other services. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays many business meetings and trainings are happening online and not in real offices. Do you think, the advantages of this approach outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that the main factor influencing a child’s development these days are things such as tv, friends and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, a lot of offices employ open-space designs instead of separate rooms for work. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Government should spend money on railways rather than Road. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.