IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #governments #support #artists #painters #musicians #alternative #sources
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It is true that financial support should be given by the government to people working as creative
artists
.
On the other hand
, others believe that other sources should give funding to them. In my opinion,
money
 to do all those art projects should come from both other sources and
governments
. On the one hand,
money
 to do art projects should come from the government. In the UK, they present a lot of pictures and artworks in the street or squares, where there are a lot of citizens and tourists.
For example
, in America, there are a lot of statues and a big landmark in New York, which is really popular over the world. They are there to educate people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
also
 to attract many visitors from all over the world. And the
governments
 should pay
money
 for their hard-working and creativity, just for them to use more of their intelligence. And if there aren’t any pictures or
artworks
Fix the agreement mistake
artwork
show examples
 in the city, it will be less interesting, thrilling and attractive.
On the other hand
,
money
also
 should be funded by other sources. The problem is there are many important concerns that
governments
 have to take care
.
Change preposition
of.
show examples
For instance
,
money
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to be spent on education, infrastructure and health care, which are all important to human life. Another reason that
artists
 can make
money
 by themselves
by
Add a missing verb
is by
show examples
 selling their presentations. All professionals can earn
money
 by selling their products, so maybe they don’t need much
money
 from
governments
. In conclusion,
although
artists
 could rely on
money
 from financial support, in my opinion,
governments
 support is still something very important to creative
artists
Submitted by xuanbtm on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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