IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, children in remote villages and communities have no access to education. some people believe that the best solution will be provide teacher and schools. others think that providing computer and internet in these areas will be a better solution. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is undeniable that there are numerous
children
Use synonyms
 in rural areas who lack education in certain nations.
While
Linking Words
 some individuals believe that providing
teachers
Use synonyms
 and schools in these areas will be the best method.
Conversely
Linking Words
, there are those people who believe that a better solution is to provide technology tools including computers and the
Internet
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elaborate on both points of view
along with
Linking Words
 my perspective.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, schools and
teachers
Use synonyms
 are the basis of studying as the majority of
students
Use synonyms
 in the world go to school, and
study
Use synonyms
 with their
teachers
Use synonyms
.
Teachers
Use synonyms
' duties are not only teaching knowledge to their
students
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 taking care,
and
Change preposition
of and
show examples
 giving advice to them when they are facing problems.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
when studying
show examples
 at school,
students
Use synonyms
 will meet with different kinds of people
such
Linking Words
 as friends,
teachers
Use synonyms
, and other
students
Use synonyms
' parents,
thus
Linking Words
 when they grow up they will be able to adapt to
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 in real society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, providing computers and
internet
Use synonyms
 to
children
Use synonyms
 in rural areas may cause disadvantages. Since these
children
Use synonyms
 lack knowledge ,
Linking Words
therefore
Rephrase
apply
show examples
 they might use technology in an unbeneficial way if there is no one who
guides
Wrong verb form
guide
show examples
 them.
While
Linking Words
 the
internet
Use synonyms
 has various educational contents which
students
Use synonyms
 can access and
study
Use synonyms
 to increase their knowledge, contents on the
internet
Use synonyms
 cannot be controlled. Some
children
Use synonyms
 may select terrible content ,
for example
Linking Words
, casino websites, or porn websites which is totally unbeneficial for them. In a nutshell, I strongly believe that
teachers
Use synonyms
 and schools are still necessary for
children
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 computers and the
Internet
Use synonyms
 should be used in parallel under the supervision of
teachers
Use synonyms
 or adults who are able to advise them to use technology in a valid way for their most effective
study
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that your ideas are fully developed and avoid repeating the same points.
coherence cohesion
Improve the connection between your main ideas and use more cohesive devices such as linking words and cohesive phrases.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: