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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

All people in a company should be treated equally and provided with the same amount of vacation in a year. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #company #amount #vacation #year
Nowadays, a holiday is one of the most important things in
this
 life, because we can relieve our stress.
In addition
, equality is
also
 a crucial factor in recent years. In fact, I agree with those who think that the company must give the same position and chance for the employee to get a vacation. On the one hand, the good performance of workers in a group can be created by giving some motivation to the employee. There are lots of ways to make
this
 condition
such
 as providing some policies or programs for their happiness.
For instance
, employers can give the same number of
days
 in a year. As an illustration, the Indonesian government decided to let their worker get some time not to go to their office for twelve
days
 a year. For some companies, if employees take
this
 chance, they will get paid,
such
 as Bank Indonesia, or Pertamina.
This
 is so good in order to appreciate their contribution and can increase their performance in the future.
In addition
, giving the same time, it can make their brotherhood stronger than before because they feel that the place where they work treats them in an equal way
although
 they have different positions in the office.
On the other hand
, it will be a big problem if the company give a different right just by looking at their levels. As an example, they give the manager 24
days
 for holidays, opposite to the supervisor or even ordinary workers for only 10
days
.
This
 condition will create a feeling of jealousy that can make a deep impact on the team. In conclusion, I believe that the same number of holidays is supposed to be given to the employees to make sure that they have the same rights.
Submitted by donihabiburrahman8 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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