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Writing Samples
Band 5

Major cities in the world are growing fast, as well as their problems. What are the problems that young people living in those cities are facing? Suggest some solutions.

#cities #world #people
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It is true that
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation
have
Change the verb form
has
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 some
issues
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 when they live in developed
cities
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.
This
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 can be attributed to several consequences, which can require possible
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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 to be adopted There are many problems resulting from setting down in major
cities
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. One obvious issue is
high
Correct article usage
the high
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 cost. To be more precise,
people
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 who live in big
cities
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 have to
spent
Change the verb
spend
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a
Change the article
an
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 amount of money to pay costs, and these are not at a lower price.
For instance
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, there are some youngsters that want to move
in
Change preposition
to
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 big
cities
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 for their
Use synonyms
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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 or job, so
a
Correct article usage
the
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 first condition is that they need to have enough money to cover their life.
Consequently
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, young
people
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 will have
a
Remove the article
apply
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pressure if they want to live
developed
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in developed
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cities
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. Another problem worth mentioning is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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competition. Living in big
cities
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where
Correct word choice
that
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 have the most
competitive
Replace the word
competition
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 in every
fields
Change to a singular noun
field
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 requires
people
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have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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to try their best
ton
Correct your spelling
to
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 achieve goals.
Thus
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, they can
survice
Correct your spelling
survive
service
 in
cities
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where
Correct word choice
that
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 have
a
Remove the article
apply
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fast growth. Various measures,
nevertheless
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, can be implemented to address these
issues
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. The first solution is
that
Correct word choice
apply
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individual’s
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individual
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 improvement.
This
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 arises from the fact that
people
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 who
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
study
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 or work in
cities
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centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 so that they have to find a method to
study
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 well and work hard to improve
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
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.
This
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 brings
people
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opporturnities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 to have a better life in big
cities
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.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
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,
this
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 can assist them to stay in and decrease some problems that they have to face
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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. Another approach is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positive thought. Mainly because once
people
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 think
positive
Change the word
positively
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, they can solve
issues
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 easily.
Besides
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,
this
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 will boost young
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people
Change noun form
people's
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 energy to keep
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study
Wrong verb form
studying
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 and
work
Wrong verb form
working
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, which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 them overcome difficulties. In conclusion, despite living in increased
cities
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 can raise
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many
issues
Use synonyms
, steps can be taken to alleviate the situation.
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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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