In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities so the the population in the countriside is decreasing. Do you think it is positive or negative development?

During all
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
,
people
look for the best area to stay and settle down, they travel,
change
Correct word choice
and change
show examples
the one place to another, but
someone
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
still can not find the final destination.
However
,
people
’s migrations
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
also
certain effects, in my opinion,
people
can accept their dreams, but make their decision with consciousness. First of all, it is
Correct article usage
a well-establishe
show examples
well-establishe
Correct your spelling
well-established
fact, that big
cities
are the spot of
wealthy
Replace the word
wealth
show examples
, career opportunities and development as the most talented and rich
people
are estimated to live here.
Therefore
, it is not
surprise
Correct article usage
a surprise
show examples
, that other
people
want
move
Add the particle
to move
show examples
too, usually, most of them
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
in small
cities
, which have poor infrastructure and
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
high rate of unemployment. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
result, since childhood, a lot of
people
aim to leave their hometown and move to
capital
Add an article
the capital
show examples
.
Secoundly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, at the same time, having
a new residents
Correct the article-noun agreement
new residents
a new resident
show examples
is completely beneficial for big
cities
because they support it
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
money,
eventually
Correct word choice
and eventually
show examples
,
cities
grow. Visitors
investing
Wrong verb form
invest
show examples
in the city by spending money on local restaurants, renting, food and culture
entertanment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
such
as tourism and,
consequently
, provide it’s
develompent
Correct your spelling
development
.
From
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other hand,
people
’s migrations have
slow
Add an article
a slow
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but damaging impact on the
life
of
rural
Add an article
the rural
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
Younger
Add an article
The younger
show examples
generation is accounted for
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
part of
people
who leave, but their hometowns need in
freshblood
Correct your spelling
fresh blood
and residents, who will support
this
place in future. If every young person will leave, only
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
generation will stay, but they can not always support the place where they live,
consequently
, the towns like that slowly die from poverty, unemployment and underdevelopment every day, that effect well-known
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
society
such
as “Ghost Town”.
Additionally
, often, most new residents are literally unprepared to
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
in
big
Add an article
the big
a big
show examples
city. The
life
conditions in rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
and in the capital are considerably different and, sometimes, even opposite.
People
, who moved,
often
Add a missing verb
are often
show examples
, forced to struggle with
high
Add an article
a high
the high
show examples
rate of
competiton
Correct your spelling
competition
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the market, expensive prices
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
food, rent and transport, noisy and pressing atmosphere of
big
Add an article
the big
a big
show examples
city.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, some migrants often miss
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their hometown because
life
here might be smoother. In conclusion,
ofcourse
Correct your spelling
of course
, it is
definetely
Correct your spelling
definitely
important for
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
rgeneration
Correct your spelling
generations
generation
to follow their wish and use every opportunity for making future
life
better.
However
they
ough
Correct your spelling
ought
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be prepared
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
obstacles, which they may meet on their way, and take responsibility for the choices that they do.
Submitted by s_syedy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: