IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'Social media has had a negative impact on society

#media #impact #society
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Social
media
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 has become a part of our day-to-day life, offering us an effortless way to have fun, communicate with our loved ones and meet new people,
however
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, some argue that without a doubt, social
media
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 has had a negative impact on society. I am completely in favour of that statement,
for example
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, a 2011 study, showed that teens who spend too much time on social
media
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 are more likely to develop, anxiety, sleep deprivation and depression. As social
media
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 is a virtual space, where you can't physically interact with people, it has made some individuals too comfortable, with saying things they normally wouldn't in real life,
as a result
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, cyberbullying is really common on the internet,
however
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, the effects it can have in one's life can be astronomically detrimental, to illustrate, individuals who have suffered of constant cyberbullying are more likely to experience, anxiety, depression and low self-esteem.
Furthermore
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, our notion of what was privacy is disappearing completely, with every photo you post, with every story and every conversation you have, you're killing your privacy.
Finally
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 one of the worst side effects of social
media
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 is isolation, research has shown, that teenagers who spend more than 4 hours per day on social
media
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, start devaluing real-life experiences and moments, and
as a result
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, teens self-isolate from the rest of the world and are not even conscious about
this
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.
To conclude
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 social
media
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 has had a harmful effect on society, killing your privacy, making you addicted and isolating you
as a result
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, cyberbullying, and making us prone to anxiety, depression and low self-esteem are just some of the side effects that social
media
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 has had on today's society.
Submitted by alonsoddel78 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph contains one clear main idea, and avoid introducing new points without fully exploring the previous ones. Each paragraph should logically connect to the next through clear transitions and cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Present a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure your introduction outlines the essay's direction and your conclusion summarizes the main points, restating your position without introducing new ideas.
task achievement
Expand on your examples and provide adequate support for each of your points. Aim for a balance between general statements and specific, detailed examples to substantiate your argument.
task achievement
Ensure your essay fully responds to all parts of the task. While you have presented a clear position, the development of your argument can include exploring counterarguments or acknowledging any potential benefits of social media to provide a balanced viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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