IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

In some country levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weights are increasing.

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The data in some countries show
obesity
Use synonyms
 and degeneration illness increase. Many
people
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 do not aware of their
health
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 and continue with a poor lifestyle.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the problem and give some
solutions
Use synonyms
.
To begin
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 with, some countries presented their number of
obesity
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 is rise.
This
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 happened because of the bad behaviour they applied in their daily life. Many products contain bad nutrients, some of them have high sodium and some of them just contain sugar, and the public can find it easily in fast
food
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 or cans of
food
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. Since they eat unbalanced
food
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, it affects many
health
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 issues
such
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 as
obesity
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 and degenerative illness.
For example
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, nowadays, many young
people
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 suffer from diabetes, heart attack, and kidney failure.
This
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 is related to their behaviour, unbalanced nutrients, and fewer activities.
As a result
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, the data show level of fitness is drawn, and the problem with weight is climbing up.
However
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, there are some
solutions
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 that can be applied to decrease
obesity
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 and fitness problems.
First,
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the government needs to make a strict law for nutrients label on every
food
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 product.
This
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 will help the community to know what they eat.
Second,
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The government has a huge role to make an instruction, so the public is able to follow them.
For instance
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, In Indonesia government collaborated with
Health
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 public ministry to make a guidance called "Pedoman Gizi Seimbang"
This
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 led
people
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 to eat balanced portions and what kind of meals they needed to eat to keep physically and mentally healthy.
Finally
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, all the
solutions
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 will be successful if society realizes that
health
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 is crucial in their life.
To conclude
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, many problems with someone's fitness are created by themselves. They just eat what they want since it's cheap, fast, and has good taste without thing about the long-term effects. There
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 some
solutions
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 that the authority offers, and it will be back to
people
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 themselves, they want to stay in a bad lifestyle or change their life to the healthy side.

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