IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think it is more important to spend public money on prompting healthy lifestyle in order to spend it on the treatment for people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #lifestyle #treatment
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It is often believed by a few critics that
government
Use synonyms
 funding should be utilized
on
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apply
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promoting to lead a healthy lifestyle
while
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 others oppose the thought and say it needs to be credited towards the citizens who are sick. I believe, in my humble opinion, funds should be used to create awareness amongst
people
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 as prevention is better than cure. I will be outlining a few aspects in forthcoming paragraphs to rationalize my agreement. If
people
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 are aware beforehand
then
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 they can avoid plenty of damage caused prior to their unhealthy diet.
Firstly
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, most
people
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 love to eat a lot of sweets which contain sugar and fat which is the biggest factor causing diabetes.
Therefore
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, if local authorities use the money to produce more goods like fruits it causes to decrease in price and promotes them resulting in
people
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 consuming more.
For example
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, in Germany, their
government
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 has reduced the price of fruits and veggies which influences the consumers to take more.
Secondly
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, the
government
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 can give free access to
people
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 of the country to gymnasiums, swimming etc.
Hence
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, a lot of
people
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 get influenced to do physical activities which makes them less vulnerable to heart disease and diabetes.
Thirdly
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, to create awareness
government
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 can spend public funds in areas like sports events to encourage youth participation.
Nevertheless
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, taxpayer's money should
also
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 be used for
people
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 who are already patient.
To begin
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 with, these
people
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 have
also
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 to contributed society now it's time for payback.
Otherwise
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, citizens will revolt and refuse to abide by the laws and pay taxes.
For instance
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, the
government
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 of the USA has put a lion's share of their public funds into the promotion of a balanced diet and a good lifestyle
however
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,
this
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 causes damage rather than help as everyone went down onto streets as they might not be taken care of in the nearby future like the one's getting neglected now.
To conclude
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, as a nation's guardian, authorities should be a lot more careful before making budgets and taking sides as everyone has equal rights.
Submitted by yeahyeamin on

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