Some people think it is more important to spend public money on prompting healthy lifestyle in order to spend it on the treatment for people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #lifestyle #treatment

It is often believed by a few critics that

government

funding should be utilized

Change preposition

apply

show examples

promoting to lead a healthy lifestyle

while

others oppose the thought and say it needs to be credited towards the citizens who are sick. I believe, in my humble opinion, funds should be used to create awareness amongst

people

as prevention is better than cure. I will be outlining a few aspects in forthcoming paragraphs to rationalize my agreement. If

people

are aware beforehand

then

they can avoid plenty of damage caused prior to their unhealthy diet.

Firstly

, most

people

love to eat a lot of sweets which contain sugar and fat which is the biggest factor causing diabetes.

Therefore

, if local authorities use the money to produce more goods like fruits it causes to decrease in price and promotes them resulting in

people

consuming more.

For example

, in Germany, their

government

has reduced the price of fruits and veggies which influences the consumers to take more.

Secondly

, the

government

can give free access to

people

of the country to gymnasiums, swimming etc.

Hence

, a lot of

people

get influenced to do physical activities which makes them less vulnerable to heart disease and diabetes.

Thirdly

, to create awareness

government

can spend public funds in areas like sports events to encourage youth participation.

Nevertheless

, taxpayer's money should

also

be used for

people

who are already patient.

To begin

with, these

people

have

also

to contributed society now it's time for payback.

Otherwise

, citizens will revolt and refuse to abide by the laws and pay taxes.

For instance

, the

government

of the USA has put a lion's share of their public funds into the promotion of a balanced diet and a good lifestyle

however

this

causes damage rather than help as everyone went down onto streets as they might not be taken care of in the nearby future like the one's getting neglected now.

To conclude

, as a nation's guardian, authorities should be a lot more careful before making budgets and taking sides as everyone has equal rights.

Submitted by yeahyeamin on Mon Jun 19 2023

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16Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

341 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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