These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

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Nowadays, more and more fathers stay

home

Use synonyms

to take care of their children

while

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the mother is at work. Many reasons could explain

this

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positive development.

To begin

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this

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phenomenon could be explained by the phenomenal advancement in women’s rights. Women have more freedom than ever before, and in front of the

law

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law,

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they are equal to men.

However

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, there was still progress to be made as a society.

For instance

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, mothers are still expected to stay at

home

Use synonyms

and clean the house,

while

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the man is working. Fortunately, a lot of new laws were passed in order to change

this

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situation. Now, workers are allowed to take

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

paid leave in order to take care of their newborn baby, no matter the gender, which leads to an equal share of dads leaving their office for their children.

This

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leads to many positive outcomes.

Firstly

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, women are now not considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a burden which has to go back to their

Use synonyms

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

because of their children.

Secondly

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, young couples are seeing that having a baby will not disadvantage them in the workplace. It could ultimately be a way of fighting against the low fertility rate in our country.

Finally

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, it shows citizens the importance of democratic

value

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values

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, by,

for example

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, showing that both genders are equally important to society.

To conclude

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, many reasons explain the fact that dads are staying

home

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, the most important being new laws that were passed.

This

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caused a positive effect, including a more inclusive and more aware society.

santos_dij

Jun 20, 2023

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task response

For task response, you answer both parts of the question, but your reasons are a bit narrow. Add one more reason, like money, work from home, or the father having a better work time.

task response

For task response, your view is clear and positive, but some ideas are general. Explain more how this change helps the child, the family, and work life.

task response

For task response, use a more direct example. For example, say a father may stay home if the mother has higher pay.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good. But some links between ideas are too quick. Add clearer steps from reason to result.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, paragraph 2 mixes past problems, law, and result. Keep one main idea in one paragraph.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, some words are not exact, like 'This leads to many positive outcomes' after one reason only. Make sure each line clearly follows the one before it.

task response

For task response, you answer both questions and give a clear opinion that this is a positive change.

task response

For task response, your ideas stay on the topic and do not go far away from the question.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow overall, with clear paragraphs and simple linking words.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, you have both an introduction and a conclusion, and both match your main view.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

breadwinner
caregiving
paternal leave
societal perceptions
gender roles
flexible working conditions
personal preference
father-child relationship
emotional and social development
household responsibilities
career opportunities
professional achievements
balanced parenting
earning potential
social stigma
societal pressure
discrimination
traditional mindsets
resentment
adjustment

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These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries today, everyday necessities like food and petrol have become very expensive. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work that with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answers.

Government should focus their spending on public services rather than on arts. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and discuss at least one problem that may result.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion