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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays we see an increase in social problems involving teenagers.Many people believe that it is because parents spend more time at work and less with their children.Do you agree or disagree?

#teenagers #people #parents #time #work #children
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These days we see an increase in social issues among teens. Most people believe that it is
due to
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parents
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 spending more
time
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 at work and less with their
children
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. I agree with
this
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 statement.
To begin
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 with, spending
time
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 with
children
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 is essential for
parents
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 because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 they can teach kids about good values and virtues as to how to differentiate between good and bad
for example
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 if there is a ten dollar note lying on the floor and no one is around what would the child do with it all these lessons are taught by
parents
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.
Secondly
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, giving less
time
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 to the
children
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 would mean the child is spending it
elsewhere
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,
for instance
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, surfing the internet as there is no supervision it is likely that they will be viewing inappropriate content
such
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 as watching adult movies or they may be chatting with a stranger. After seeing these movies
children
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 might want to experiment and
this
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 can lead to teenage pregnancy, HIV, and rape.
While
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 talking to an unknown person can be dangerous as they can stalk
children
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 or even kidnap them.
Thirdly
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, their academic performance might be affected
as a result
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 of being left unsupervised.
Children
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 will be least bothered to study and more likely to engage in things that they enjoy
such
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 as taking illegal drugs, glue sniffing and smoking which will provide them with
feel -good
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feel-good
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 effect.
As a result
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,
children
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 are expelled or no longer interested in studies and engage in criminal activities including stealing, smuggling etc.
To conclude
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, there is a rise in criminal activities among teenagers which is because
parents
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 don’t spend quality
time
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 with them
instead
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 more
time
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 is devoted to their job
as a result
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 kids don’t get useful lessons from
parents
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. There is a lack of supervision
therefore
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 teens are free to do whatever they desire and the school performance is
also
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 affected.
Submitted by A on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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