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Band 6.5

Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
#schools
Bullying on campuses is deteriorating over time
due to
 advanced technologies and become one of the desperate issues in many nations. In my perspective, both governments and individuals have an obligation to cope with
such
 issues, by paying more attention to their
children
 and making regulations to stop the spread of misleading
information
. One of the cogent causes of
such
 situations could be the incremental popularity of the internet, which contains various misleading
information
 and violent
content
, fostering young individuals with biased perspectives.
For example
, years ago a video shows students pranking their peers by throwing them into dust bins went virus, and ended up becoming a serious bullying event in many schools. There are some countermeasures for authorities and parents to deter
such
 issues. First of all, governments should stringent censorship on the
content
 of videos to ensure underages are not able to access inappropriate
information
.
Such
 as Facebook and Youtube were fined for spreading
content
 with wrongful behaviours.
Secondly
, parents should spend more time with their
children
 and encourage them to convey their life in schools to be aware when unusual situations occur to prevent unwanted situations.
For example
, governments in Taiwan will hold events to invite many specialists to indicate various symptoms for adults to identify young people who encounter bullying on campuses, so they are able to make a move in time to protect their
children
 from
further
 harm. To summarise, it is true that advanced technologies speed up the spread of
information
,
however
, it could
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
 young people who imitating those wrongful behaviours. In my perspective, it depends on the hard work of both authorities and parents to prevent youth from accessing default
content
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and be alert to unusual behaviour of
children
 who suffer from bullying.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bullying
  • Harassment
  • Intimidation
  • Diversity
  • Adolescent
  • Mimic
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Cyberbullying
  • Peer pressure
  • Social acceptance
  • Awareness
  • Conflict resolution
  • Peer mediation
  • Consequences
  • Respect
  • Kindness
  • Open communication
  • Vulnerable
  • Buddy system
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