It was predicted that with the development of technology, people in the 21st century would have much more free time than past. To what extent has this prediction come true?

#development #technology #people #st #century #time #prediction

It is sometimes argued that

due to

the advancements in

technology

,individuals will have more leisure

time

compared to

20th

Correct article usage

the 20th

show examples

century.I partly agree with the statement for some reasons outlined below. On the one hand, we have every reason to believe that

technology

would bring a variety of good points to our lives.The key rationale behind

this

is that the internet and digital communication tools can do people a favour to spend

time

by improving information exchange and communication.

Therefore

,tasks

such

as online meetings and document sharing become faster and more convenient.

In addition

,working remotely can help worker save commuting

time

,which can allow them to have more free

time

for themselves and their families.With the developments of robots and smart software,housework and office work will be automated,which can create quality

time

to unwind and recharge their energy.

On the other hand

,I believe that technological advancements still have some obstacles to our lives.

Firstly

,machines have been replacing humans in many areas,which can spark intense competition in the labour market

as well as

a reduction in the number of available jobs.

Secondly

technology

can cause distraction and lack of focus .

Thus

, using social networks too much can affect negatively mental health and reduce the quality of square

time

,when users always have to check messages and respond immediately. From what has been discussed above,we may draw the conclusion,that despite the fact that

technology

would offer a wide range of merits,

this

still has several shortcomings,which are needed to clear up.

Submitted by nguyenhoanghadl on Fri Jun 21 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Your introduction provides a clear stance, but it could be made stronger by more explicitly highlighting the two sides of the argument you’ll discuss. Also, ensure to proofread for minor errors in punctuation and spacing.

relevant specific examples

While the essay presents clear and logical arguments, there are instances where ideas could be expanded with more specific examples. Providing concrete examples or studies could strengthen your points.

clear comprehensive ideas

Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and sophisticated language structures. This can help to enhance the essay and achieve a higher score for lexical resource.

logical structure

The essay presents a balanced view on the topic, acknowledging both the positive and negative impacts of technology on free time.

coherence

There is a logical flow between paragraphs, with clear transitions that help guide the reader through your arguments.

supported main points

You effectively discuss how advancements like the internet, digital communication tools, and automation have influenced people’s leisure time.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

241 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It was predicted that with the development of technology, people in the 21st century would have much more free time than past. To what extent has this prediction come true?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while other believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give your opinion

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The two floor plans illustrate how the central library has changed over the past 20 years.

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