Nowadays people have adopted an unhealthy lifestyle. Why do you think this is? How could this problem be solved?
In
this
prevailing era, a paradigm shift can be observed in the living patterns of people. These days individuals have embraced a sedentary lifestyle. This
essay will not only discuss the causative factors behind this
scenario but some measurements will also
be highlighted in order to mitigate this
predicament.
Commencing with the salient reasons, why people are more inclined towards an unhealthy routine is primarily because of the fast-paced environment. To exemplify, the population have become extremely busy due to
their workload due to
which they fail to maintain a work-life balance. Furthermore
, advancement in technology can also
be another major factor behind this
menace as adults and young ones prefer indoor activities such
as using social media rather than choosing outdoor sports. For instance
, a documentary published by the History Channel revealed that individuals are living in the prison of social media and they are greedy to earn more money due to
which their health is compromised. Hence
, busy schedules as well as
technology can be considered as a fuelling force behind this
issue.
Despite the given impediments, one of the pre-eminent solutions would be raising awareness campaigns emphasizing the importance of maintaining work and personal life balance. In addition
, the government should start free programmes
for society which provide them with yoga and various exercises so that they feel encouraged to participate. Replace the word
programs
For instance
, huge firms such
as Google and Microsoft made it mandatory for young employees to use stairs instead
of lifts for their well-being.
In conclusion, although
fast-paced
culture Correct article usage
a fast-paced
coupled with
technological advancement are the prominent reasons behind this
scenario; however
, this
problem cannot be alleviated unless the people in power and the communities take the necessary actions.Submitted by madiharizwani on
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task response
The essay provides a clear response to the prompt, addressing the reasons behind the unhealthy lifestyle and suggesting potential solutions. However, some points lack development and could be further elaborated.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is well-maintained, and there is a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the development of some points could be improved to enhance coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses a variety of lexical resources effectively. To further enhance lexical resource, it is recommended to include more academic or formal vocabulary throughout the essay.
grammatical range
The grammatical range in the essay is satisfactory, with a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, some sentence structures and word choices could be refined to enhance overall grammatical range and accuracy.
Your opinion
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