Nowadays people have adopted an unhealthy lifestyle. Why do you think this is? How could this problem be solved?

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this

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prevailing era, a paradigm shift can be observed in the living patterns of people. These days individuals have embraced a sedentary lifestyle.

This

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essay will not only discuss the causative factors behind

this

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scenario but some measurements will

also

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be highlighted in order to mitigate

this

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predicament. Commencing with the salient reasons, why people are more inclined towards an unhealthy routine is primarily because of the fast-paced environment. To exemplify, the population have become extremely busy

due to

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their workload

due to

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which they fail to maintain a work-life balance.

Furthermore

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, advancement in technology can

also

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be another major factor behind

this

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menace as adults and young ones prefer indoor activities

such

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as using social media rather than choosing outdoor sports.

For instance

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, a documentary published by the History Channel revealed that individuals are living in the prison of social media and they are greedy to earn more money

due to

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which their health is compromised.

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, busy schedules

as well as

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technology can be considered as a fuelling force behind

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issue. Despite the given impediments, one of the pre-eminent solutions would be raising awareness campaigns emphasizing the importance of maintaining work and personal life balance.

In addition

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, the government should start free

programmes

Replace the word

programs

show examples

for society which provide them with yoga and various exercises so that they feel encouraged to participate.

For instance

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, huge firms

such

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as Google and Microsoft made it mandatory for young employees to use stairs

instead

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of lifts for their well-being. In conclusion,

although

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fast-paced

Correct article usage

a fast-paced

show examples

culture

coupled with

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technological advancement are the prominent reasons behind

this

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scenario;

however

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this

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problem cannot be alleviated unless the people in power and the communities take the necessary actions.

madiharizwaniWed Jun 21 2023

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task response

The essay provides a clear response to the prompt, addressing the reasons behind the unhealthy lifestyle and suggesting potential solutions. However, some points lack development and could be further elaborated.

coherence and cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is well-maintained, and there is a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the development of some points could be improved to enhance coherence and cohesion.

lexical resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses a variety of lexical resources effectively. To further enhance lexical resource, it is recommended to include more academic or formal vocabulary throughout the essay.

grammatical range

The grammatical range in the essay is satisfactory, with a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, some sentence structures and word choices could be refined to enhance overall grammatical range and accuracy.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Nowadays people have adopted an unhealthy lifestyle. Why do you think this is? How could this problem be solved?

Your opinion

In the past when students did a university degree they tended to study in their own counrty. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

People in the limelight have a responsibility to set an example for others by their good behavior. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: • say why a driving licence is advantageous • recommend a driving school • give any extra guidance/tips